


More Than This

by Lovefushsia



Series: More Than This [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bathtubs, Bones is such a gentleman though, Complete, Drunk Jim, Drunken Shenanigans, Feelings, Forehead Kisses, Goodbyes, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I promise, Insomnia, It's All Fine, Jetlag, Jim is far from subtle, John throws punches, Karaoke, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Lost in Translation AU, M/M, Park Hyatt Hotel, Reunion because happy endings are essential for me, Strangers to Friends, Talking, Tight red swimming shorts, Topping from the Bottom, a bit lost, bathrobes, clumsy Jim, hospital visits, neither of them can work out the time difference, or rather farewells, random meetings, random wanderings in Tokyo, the morning after, they are both sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:51:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12092226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovefushsia/pseuds/Lovefushsia
Summary: Jim and Len meet in a Tokyo hotel, where Dr McCoy is filming a whiskey commercial, trying to improve his image so he can maybe restart his television career back home. Jim is on a trip with his photographer boyfriend, who seems more interested in his clients than in Jim. Both are lost in an unusual setting, with only each other to try to work through where their lives are heading.An AU based on the film Lost In Translation, still one of my favourites. I've used some similar scenes, some dialogue, some bits I've switched around - you don't really need to have seen the film to read this :)"Whiskey commercial," Len murmured."You don't seem too happy about it," Jim pointed out.Len shook his head. "Well, it's not bourbon, unfortunately. I can't even-" He glanced sidelong at Jim, looking around them both before lowering his voice. "Look into camera - with intensity," he said in a terrible accent. "That's it - that's all they've got. I'm a doctor Jim, not a damn movie star. I don't know how they want me to drink the damn stuff." He sighed heavily. "It's not even real alcohol, apple juice or some crap," he muttered finally.Jim watched him and tried not to laugh, frowning sympathetically.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My title is from the song by Roxy Music which 'Bob' (Bill Murray) sings in the film < 3

"Hey, kid."

Jim looked up at the husky American voice to his right. Damn, the guy it belonged to was hot. Older than Jim by a few years and he looked as tired as Jim felt. He'd spotted the guy in the elevator already - couldn't miss him with all the height and the thick, dark brown hair and the way those muscular shoulders tapered into the firm waist. Jim may have thought about him once or twice. He'd also seen him from across the bar the last two nights, but this time he had chosen to sit near to Jim.

"Can't sleep either, huh?

"Hey," Jim greeted, voice low and betraying his own exhaustion. "Damn straight, haven't had more than two hours since I landed. How about you?" he asked, motioning with his drink in the guy's direction.

"I don't sleep much as a rule, but being here, well it seems as if my body just wants to be back home. The bed's comfy 'n' all, but ah- nope. No sleep."

"Same. I wish I could though, been drinkin' too much, smokin' too much." As if to agree with Jim his body betrayed him with a sudden coughing fit. "Sorry," he said. "Yeah, I really need some sleep."

The man was watching him. "Uh yeah, definitely cut out those cigarettes too," he said.

"What, are you a doctor?"

The man actually nodded and Jim flushed a little.

"Amongst other things, yeah." He shifted off his chair and moved to the stool directly beside Jim's, holding out his hand. "Doctor Leonard McCoy," he told Jim. "Or just Len," he added.

Jim put down his glass and reached for Doctor McCoy's hand. "Jim Kirk," he said. They kept eye contact for longer than the handshake lasted and Jim felt an odd twist in his stomach that he hadn't felt for some time. "What else do you do, aside from medicine?" Jim asked, taking another small sip of his vodka.

Len drank too before running a hand through his already tousled hair. "I had a television spot a few years back. A phone-in for patients with... issues they'd rather not see their general practitioner about." He had a slight smirk and the deadpan delivery made Jim chuckle. 

"Right," he drawled. "So you heard a few awkward stories, I bet?"

"Oh yeah," Len agreed.

"So, what happened?"

Len gave a longer sigh and started up again. "I fell out with the producers, it became more of a comedy spot in the end and it wasn't what I wanted."

"I'm sorry," Jim said sincerely. "Do you still practice medicine?"

Len looked up at him with a frown. "Why am I telling you all this, kid?" he asked.

Jim shrugged a shoulder, rested his head on his hand, elbow on the bar top. "I dunno," he admitted. "It's late, I guess, jetlag makes you more open?"

Len smiled. "Or maybe it's just because we're the only Westerners in the hotel?"

"Charming," Jim said, but they were both smiling now.

"I do, I have a private practice back home, private surgery. I'm on a break while I try to figure this out. My agent reckons we can start over, so I'm getting this exposure first."

"What is it you're doing over here?" Jim asked. He had seen the man with a team of people around him in the hotel lobby.

"Whiskey commercial," Len murmured.

"You don't seem too happy about it," Jim pointed out.

Len shook his head. "Well, it's not bourbon, unfortunately. I can't even-" He glanced sidelong at Jim, looking around them both before lowering his voice. " _Look into camera - with intensity_ ," he said in a terrible accent. "That's it - that's all they've got. I'm a doctor Jim, not a damn movie star. I don't know how they want me to drink the damn stuff." He sighed heavily. "It's not even real alcohol, apple juice or some crap," he muttered finally.

Jim watched him and tried not to laugh, frowning sympathetically. Len held up his glass and called for another to the currently very underworked bartender. They were the only customers left.

"Well," Jim said, "I hope it's worth it, how much are they paying you?"

"Half a million dollars," Len said, but his expression suggested he knew just how ridiculous that sounded.

"For a whiskey commercial?" Jim blurted.

Len nodded raising an eyebrow. "You don't think this face is worth that much?"

Jim laughed. "Oh man, I think I'd put up with a whole lot of crappy direction if they paid me half that amount," he said, ignoring Len's actual question. His face, and the rest of him, was worth a whole lot in Jim's opinion. "So," he said, blowing out a thin stream of smoke. "Do people recognise you?"

"Sometimes," Len said, in a slightly sombre tone, and Jim was sorry to have changed the mood. "Gets a little frustrating, most of 'em are just laughing. Hence my agent trying to 'improve my profile'," he quoted.

"I'm sure they mean well," Jim suggested. He didn't like to think of anyone laughing at Len.

They were quiet for a time, Jim listened to the hum of the aircon, the gentle clink of a glass as the bartender cleaned up. "My boyfriend snores," he finally murmured.

"He what?" Len asked, and he was smirking again.

"He snores," Jim repeated. "So damn loud, I tried to roll him over, he just got louder."

Len laughed quietly.

"My wife-" Oh. "She FedEx'd carpet samples." Jim gave him a questioning look. "Here, to the hotel," Len clarified.

"What?" Jim laughed.

"Yeah. See kid, you think you've got problems? I have to choose a damn carpet colour from six-thousand miles away."

Jim laughed harder. "You win," he told him and held out his glass. Len toasted him and they drank again. Jim's whole chest warmed now with their laughter as well as the alcohol. He should get back, he didn't want John to worry if he woke up. But he couldn't bring himself to leave before Len did.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think this one might be a little angsty so I've tagged it. There will be fun soon I promise :D

Len stepped into the shower and huffed out a disbelieving breath as once again he forgot that the damn thing couldn't be raised above his nipples. He scooted under the spray as much as he could, soaped up, sighed a bit more, wrestling pointlessly with the head and finally stepped back out, towelling off any remaining bubbles and cursing his height, and for not remembering to run a damn bath instead.

He'd had the worst afternoon. Far from relaxing with a glass of whiskey like the commercial was claiming, Len had been preened, fluffed, painted - oh God, the eye makeup - and made to say the same damn stupid phrase over and over for hours. _"For relaxing times, make it Suntory times."_ At this point, Len had no desire to ever buy a bottle of the damn stuff. Part of his payment would be a crate of it, well that was his family gifts sorted for the year.

 _"Cut-oh, cut-oh, cut-oh!"_ The words from the incredibly frustrated director would follow him for the rest of his life.

He flopped back on the white sheets of the bed and stared around this alien room. He wanted to be able to appreciate things again. This was the trip of a lifetime so why was he having such a hard time with it? Why was he such a crappy, grumpy person that he could only dwell on the negatives? Like throwing those damn carpet tiles out of his forty-third storey window.

He tried to call home, speak to Jocelyn, maybe a couple words with Joanna, but he couldn't get to grips with the time difference for some reason. Jocelyn answered but Len could tell he had woken her.

"Sorry," Len murmured, "go back to sleep, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Are you sure? Are you having fun?" was the sleepy response.

"Yes, yeah, of course," Len started. "You would not believe this place, it's another world all right, straight out of that movie you love."

"That's great," Jocelyn said on a yawn, clearly nearing sleep again.

"Sleep well," Len said and waited for Jocelyn to end the call before he did. If all their talks were as soft as that, maybe they wouldn't have so many problems.

 

***

 

Always busy. So many people all the damn time. Len had lived in New York but this was something else. When the elevator stopped and in stepped Jim, Len's stomach did a thing he hadn't expected. He could put it down to the drop in the elevator but he knew otherwise.

Jim stood facing the doors, like everyone else. Len tried not to stare until the kid turned his head, just enough to see Len over his shoulder. They were both a head taller than anyone else in there. He smiled at Len.

Oh, yeah, that chest thing, definitely not the elevator. Len was entranced. _Jim_. What was he doing here? A beacon in the darkness of this nightmare trip. Len smiled back, winked before he could catch himself and Jim turned away, pressed the door button and exited quickly.

Len had an almost overwhelming need to push everyone aside and follow. He stood where he was, shaking his head at his stupidity. When his floor came along he finally slouched out into the lobby, seriously considering making a run for it when he saw the crowd of assistants waiting for him.

At the point of no return Ms Kawasaki turned to him and with a wide smile started to run through the morning's itinerary. Len sighed inwardly, not even listening. She was lovely, really, but Len did not want to be ushered into yet another studio, pretend to sip make-believe whiskey while a madman director yelled at him and Ms Kawasaki translated softly in his ear.

"Ok, ok," he said finally. "The car's ready?" he asked, already moving towards the front doors. "Let's get this over with."

After several hours of " _More intensity_ ", dubious translations, and not enough alcohol, Len found himself back in the car en route to the hotel once more. The long hours of the evening stretched out before him. He couldn't even enjoy this downtime because it just made him think about home, about Jocelyn and what they'd come to. So many years - had it all been a waste? The one saving grace was Joanna. Dammit, that just made him even more sad. He knew it was over with Jocelyn. He couldn't see the path to get back to what they had, and she was basically living her own life now. Aside from the occasional redecoration decision, Len knew he had no role to play anymore. But for his daughter's sake... He wanted to talk to them, properly talk - not just a brief chat about mundane things which led them nowhere.

But that final conversation with his wife would have to wait until he was back home.

The bright lights of Tokyo zipped past his window and his vision blurred into a mess of neon rainbows. He closed his eyes and now he saw a younger man, chiselled jaw, light stubble, those eyes... dammit how the hell were they so blue?

By the time Ms Kawasaki opened the car door and Len forced himself awake, all he could think about was the hope of seeing Jim again, desperate while he walked through the foyer that he may never see the kid again - he had no idea when he was due to leave and maybe their fleeting moment was all they had and Len had no more chances to talk to him. Then he berated himself for caring so much about this guy when he wasn't free to do anything about it. Jim was with someone. Len was too old for him. The kid would have no interest in him. What was Len even thinking?

He made his way to the elevator, now even more despondent than he had been. Instead of going up to his room he jabbed at floor 41, The Peak Lounge & Bar, and leaned back against the handrail, head back against the glass as he tried to get a grip on himself.

Sleep. He should go up to his room. He dragged his feet a little when the doors opened and finally strolled into the bar and took a seat.

 

***

 

Jim had spent the morning watching the city through his 44th floor room window - magnificent architecture, sweeping scenes of Mount Fuji and the surrounding greenery beyond the city. It was beautiful, teeming with life - and yet Jim felt nothing. This view was something he should never tire of, surely? And yet he was bored. Bored of the view, bored of the hotel, the city. Most of all he was bored of his life, his relationship. Why the hell did he even agree to this trip? He wanted to see Spock but he could have come alone, he almost felt now as if he had used John by tagging along. Why hadn't he left him months ago? And he couldn't answer that.

He stared at the rain until the droplets stopped tumbling down the glass.

Finally, he grabbed his jacket and headphones and set out to try to find something, anything to catch his interest. He grabbed a tourist brochure from the lobby and took the train to the Heian Shrine and found himself walking with surprisingly sparse crowds amongst phenomenal architecture, the landscaped grounds the perfect setting for the wedding procession that emerged quietly along a path as Jim stood with other observers. The whole scene was like a picture postcard and Jim watched for ages, alternating his gaze between the silent and still beauty of the shrine, and the flow of tourists and worshippers as they milled around him.

A path of stepping stones led to one of the tree of wishes he had read about, and because world peace seemed more realistic that any wish he could imagine to achieve his own happiness right now, that was what he wrote on the offered tag and he carefully attached it alongside the others. He stood for a moment hoping something would happen. Nothing. He had nothing.

It was beautiful out here, Jim could see the beauty all around him, but it was for someone else's pleasure, not for him.

There was a constant dull pressure on him right now, something had to change but he couldn't figure out what exactly. He knew he had to face facts - he wasn't happy with John, with how little they saw each other. Despite this business trip, when they were home it was work, sleep, work - it was all kind of pointless. They must have had something in common, once, but right now, Jim barely remembered it.

He shoved his ear-phones in on the packed train back to the hotel, well aware of his status here as a Westerner and clearly not interesting to anyone because of it. _Stop overthinking - focus on the music_. The beat caught him up for a few minutes at least.

He needed to breathe when he exited the subway, should have found somewhere further out of the city, he needed air. Coming up with nothing he found a bench by a tree, watching feet pass by his own, and called his mom, knowing it was late where she was but desperate to hear her voice.

"I don't know what to do, I don't feel anything, Mom."

"Honey, you're probably just tired, are you sleeping? I get like that when I'm run down." She sounded pre-occupied, he could hear her rustling in the background, another voice nearby.

"I'm not sleeping," he said, and maybe she didn't hear.

"And what about John, is he getting the shots he needs?"

"He's doing great, yeah," Jim murmured.

"That's great hun."

"There was a wedding, it was- I know I should have been moved, you know?" Jim tried again. "Even to write a damn story about it, but I wasn't even- I couldn't even take a photograph."

"I know Jim. Look, I have to get going, Frank's taking me to dinner."

"Ok Mom," Jim said, pressing the heals of both hands into his eyes for a long while after the call ended.

It was raining again. He couldn't face his room just yet so he walked, finally feeling something as the deluge soaked through his clothes, ran in rivulets from his hair down his face. He walked until he was hungry and then finally turned back to stare along the still crowded street the way he'd come. This place never calmed down. He both loved and hated that.

Feeling a little better for the exercise, Jim went in search of food. He picked up a tub of noodles and munched on them as he walked through the now dry city, back to the hotel to get dressed before John got back.

The hotel was the opposite of the world outside. Quiet empty corridors, ladies practising flower arranging, reading groups - Jim just didn't seem to fit anywhere. He kept his headphones in, humming probably too loudly to the Beastie Boys as he headed to his room.

 

***

 

After Len's first drink his mood had lifted somewhat. There was pleasant enough entertainment from the singer tonight, background stuff, nothing to interest Len much more than tapping his foot occasionally on his foot rest. He was certainly a damn sight more relaxed here than he had been so far today.

He swung his stool around, glancing at the surprisingly crowded interior. _Oh._

Jim. Sitting on a low round table by the window, listening with only a slightly obvious lack of interest to someone beside him. Another couple across from Jim were close together, clearly enjoying each other's company. Len hoped, for Jim's sake, that the guy he was talking to wasn't his boyfriend because he looked so unimpressed they couldn't possibly be good for each other.

He swung back around to face the bar, intending to finish his drink and go to bed. Grateful to have seen Jim at least, even if not to talk to him.

As he took his final sip the bartender passed a square wooden cup across the bar.

"From the gentleman in the white shirt," he said, gesturing behind Len.

Len took the cup and turned around. Jim was holding up his own cup and toasted Len from across the room. Len smirked and shook his head in wonder. He raised the cup to Jim and drank down the sake.

Damn, it was strong, and he still wasn't used to that flavour even after these several days in Japan. He looked back towards Jim who was smiling widely, walking across the bar towards him. Sauntering was actually more like it. Len tried to look away but his eyes were inexorably drawn to Jim's hips.

"Hi," Jim said as he came alongside Len's seat.

"Hey, kid, thanks for the drink."

"No problem, you looked like you could use it. How was your day?"

"One of the worst yet," Len admitted.

Jim took hold of Len's stool and gently swivelled him around. He pulled at Len's jacket and brought his hand back with two bulldog clips. Len vaguely remembered the wardrobe lady fixing his jacket earlier on with those things.

"See what I mean?" he muttered, as Jim dropped them onto the bar top.

"Yeah, I do," Jim nodded, still smiling warmly.

"Thanks Jim," he said. Those eyes, even in the dim light of the bar, were shining at him. Bright blue. He had already dreamed of those eyes. He was transfixed.

"No problem," Jim said again. "I hope you sleep, Len," he said quietly, dropping a hand all too briefly onto Len's shoulder. Len felt the touch, warm and strong, long after the younger guy had left the bar. Len swivelled back around once, a full circle, glancing to the table where Jim had been. Len was sorry for him, that he had left on his own and wasn't happy and laughing along with his friends.

But he was thrilled to know that Jim had cared at all, to send Len a drink, that he had preferred to walk over and chat to Len instead. He got up slowly and wandered out of the bar. He wouldn't think of Jim, alone in his room. Call Jocelyn, speak to Joanna - real life.

But it was late. He was too drunk to work out the time difference. He lay back on his bed and stared at nothing while his mind took care of keeping him entertained.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jim woke up after a nap, a long nap. It was almost dark outside. Not if he went to the window and looked down though, never dark down there. And for now his room was the quietest place on Earth. Too quiet - Jim needed something else or he'd drive himself crazy stuck here, just his own thoughts for company. He switched on the television, ran a bath and tried not to fall asleep again as he soaked in the tub.

What the hell was with these Japanese game shows? He could hear one from his cosy bathroom as he pulled himself out of the water. He had a high tolerance for zany, but this stuff... wow. As he reached to change channels the screen changed to a familiar face and Jim sat down on the end of his bed, towel around his hips as he watched.

Ushered on set by a blond-haired, bejewelled male presenter, Len dutifully smiled for the camera as he was led to a chair, and after some dancing, clapping and general hysteria the presenter joined him. Len looked bemused, a little bored, a lot out of place, and when the blond guy had him blowing kisses to the camera, while on screen Len was surrounded by hearts and flowers, Jim had to laugh even as he flicked off the television and dried himself off. He couldn't even begin to imagine Len's feelings after that particular job.

Jim pulled on some loose fitting jeans and a white tshirt and set off to the bar. This time he couldn't resist it - Len's back was to him as Jim strolled over. Normally it would take a few drinks before he was brave enough to start up a conversation with the guy. He was so far out of his league here - a doctor, a father, a tv personality - actually Jim had to chuckle again at that part. Although he would love to see what Len had done in his previous television spot back home.

He sat down next to Len, nodding to the bartender as he came over with Len's drink. "I'll have the same, please," Jim said.

Len turned to him slowly, a smile forming as he took Jim in. "Well, hey kid, this is getting all too familiar."

Jim nodded his agreement, ran a hand through his hair, elbow on the bar top. "A little like Groundhog Day, isn't it?"

Len laughed, "Here's to that," he said, glass raised.

"Is this your promotional stuff?" Jim asked, thanking the bartender for his own drink. He took a sip while Len murmured an affirmative. Jim breathed out through his nose, enjoying the strong whiskey as he held it in his mouth before swallowing it down. "'s good," he said on a breath.

Len was watching him, smirking at him. He puffed out his cheeks as if trying to avoid saying something. Finally he said, "So, Jim, what is it that you do?"

"I'm-" Jim sighed. "I'm not sure actually. I just graduated last spring, Philosophy major, not what my folks expected for me. And now, well now I don't have a clue what to do with it, so I guess they were right."

"What was it you wanted when you were a little kid?" Len asked softly.

Jim sighed again but the thought did bring a smile to his lips. "An astronaut," he said shaking his head at the memory of his young self.

"Nothing wrong with that," Len told him. "Although not if you hate to fly, like me."

"You hate to fly? And you came out here?"

"There was... a lot of self-medicating," Len admitted.

"I'm sorry," Jim said. Flying never bothered him because he just slept, but he had friends who couldn't do it without tears.

"So what happened to those dreams, Jim? What did they change into?"

Jim frowned at him. "I don't know, I guess I always thought I'd fall into something I enjoyed. John wants me to take up photography with him but I don't wanna lose the fun, you know? His life is all about schedules, where to next - never a moment of peace. I don't want that. I want to write but I can't set my mind to anything."

"You've got time Jim. Life doesn't need to be one crazy race to the finish line."

Jim smiled at that. "Is that what you tell your daughter?"

"Yeah, yes I will. And I hope she believes me. She's impulsive, like her mother, but sensible with it. She'll do well." He nodded, sure of it.

"How old is she?"

"Eleven," Len told him, and Jim's quick calculation made Len a young father. As if he knew the response he'd get, Len said, "We were seventeen when we met, married by twenty-one. Joanna came along right after."

Jim lit up a cigarette before Len could mention it. "I don't envy you, but I do wonder how some people can get their lives together so easily, and others, like me... sitting here pushing thirty and still none the wiser."

"Jim, how old are you, really?" Len asked.

He blew out a stream of smoke. "Twenty-four."

"Twenty-four is not 'pushing thirty'!"

Jim smirked. "Yeah, well, it feels like it more often than not." He took another drag of his cigarette then stubbed it out when he caught Len's eyes on him.

"Cutting those things out would help a lot of things, Jim," Len said, soft but stern.

Jim felt his stomach twist. He liked that tone. He felt he would go far with Len using that tone with him whenever he was going off the rails. Yeah, he liked it a lot. "I need to sleep," he said, using words very different to those in his head.

"Jim-" Len started, as Jim slid off his stool, but Len didn't go on, just watched him with concerned eyes.

"What is it?" Jim asked.

Len rubbed his hands over his face, looking suddenly tired. "I hope I see you again. I like talking with you."

Jim smiled widely, feeling lifted just by that small admission. "So do I. Get some sleep, Doctor McCoy."

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is swimming.

The next evening Jim was in the New York bar on the 52nd floor. John had arranged a final meeting with his contacts before a big shoot beginning the next day. Jim wanted to take an interest, but he could find none. He was amusing himself by asking inane questions and watching John frowning at him each time, giving him little shakes of the head across the table, which Jim ignored.

Eventually, when it seemed like the meal was going to continue for a lot longer than Jim could pretend to be enjoying it, he yawned loudly and made his apologies.

He had to pass the long bar on his way out and of course, there was Len. He gave a soft, "Hello," and Len's smile was instant and warming.

"I'm planning a prison break," Len murmured. "Are you in?"

"Hell yeah," Jim said, looking behind him to where John was still engrossed in conversation and clearly not bothered who Jim was talking to.

"First," Len continued, "we need to break out of the bar, and then the hotel, and then the city. There's guards everywhere Jim, it's gonna take some planning."

"How much have you had?" Jim asked, grinning at Len's enjoyment of his idea.

"Not enough," Len answered, but he put down his glass and just gazed at Jim.

"I saw you, the other night, on a game show," Jim told him. Len facepalmed and Jim chuckled. "How many of those have you done?" he asked.

"Just that one. I told my agent a flat 'no' after that."

"You did great Len, I was entertained. Wouldn't mind seeing some of your previous work some time, you look good on the screen." He could feel his cheeks warming and Len was smiling wider than Jim had ever seen him.

He stood for another moment wondering about what he'd said, and Len picked up his drink and took another swig, still managing to smirk from behind it.

"Thanks kid, I'll take you up on that."

"Ok, well I'd better get going," Jim said, "I have a whole restless night full of waking dreams to get through."

Len gave him a nod. "See ya, Jim."

"Yeah, 'night Len."

 

***

 

Jim watched as John rushed back and forth around the room, gathering, packing, kissing Jim's forehead as he went by. Talking excitedly about Chiba, the monorail there and the client he'd be meeting. Jim wished he could care. He wished he could go; he wanted to stay. It made no sense to him, what he was feeling.

"Do you have to go for so long? We've really not had a chance to talk, you know?" he asked as John came into view again.

John paused long enough for a brief glance. "Yeah, yeah I have to I'm sorry. It's a couple days only, I promise. You'll have plenty to do here."

Jim nodded. "I'm gonna give Spock a call, he has a new girlfriend."

"Oh, right, yeah yeah, that's great, say hi to him ok?"

Jim agreed. Spock had moved to Tokyo a year ago and Jim still missed him. It was the main reason for tagging along on this trip, if he was honest with himself - to catch up with his oldest friend.

And then John was gone, with a final, "Love you," he was off for the rest of the week.

Jim sat there in the centre of the huge bed for at least ten minutes, just staring. He picked up a book and flicked through it, but he couldn't concentrate on anything besides sulking some more about how shitty everything was.

After a while he got tired of brooding and with a long sigh he hefted himself off the bed. Water. He needed to swim, it always took his mind off real life when he was swimming.

The pool was empty, Jim was the only person to change, the only one to wander to the water's edge and the only one to take a flying leap and shatter the peaceful silence with the biggest splash he could manage. He laughed as he resurfaced and lay out on his back, floating, arms and legs sprawled out as he stared at the soft lighting above him.

Up here he just constantly felt like he was floating - in the water, in the clouds, he was so high up. Through the huge windows overlooking the never-ending cityscape, the constant twinkling of lights reminded him of the stars. John had told him the gym had the best views of Mount Fuji. As soon as he could muster enough energy to do more than walk and swim, he'd take a look.

He lay back in the water and thought of his conversation with Len about his future. _Stargazing_ , he thought. Now that could be a beautiful career. If only he'd studied, or been better at science. His trouble had always been that any aspirations he may have had would have been a non-earner. There was no money in trekking through woodland, camping out under the stars. No money in writing. He'd tried photography, but John was so much better than him and Jim was in no mood to compete with his boyfriend.

He pushed off with one foot as he edged close to the side of the pool. This whole place was beautiful, tranquil he had to admit. But there was nothing to really capture his attention, apart from one thing. Doctor Leonard McCoy.

Jim couldn't really put his finger on why. Well, he  _could_ , Len was hot. Damn hot. There was no denying that. But Jim was also drawn to him for his gentle nature, his calm appearance and the childishness that Jim had witnessed so far. He wanted to see him again. 

He rolled onto his stomach and swam the length of the pool a couple of times, enjoying the relaxing buoyancy. His head was clearer by the time he returned to the steps and pulled himself easily out of the water. He picked up the towel he had left by one of the enormous palm trees along the poolside, and patted down, admiring the view with renewed interest. He was drying his face when he heard it - a gentle clearing of a throat, then the pad of a damp footstep nearby. Jim lowered the towel and there was Len. In nothing but swimming shorts. Tight, red swimming shorts. Jim's eyes roved slowly back up to his face as he held his breath. He rubbed the towel over his hair, trying for nonchalance. 

"Hey, Jim."

He wanted to look again, knowing he shouldn't - he should leave, get dressed. He didn't want to make Len uncomfortable, but damn... that body. "I- uh- huh... wow," he said.

Len just looked at him, at his face, Jim noticed, he didn't give him the once over, he apparently had restraint, or he just wasn't interested. Either way, Jim was nowhere near as good at this subtle thing.

Len even managed to bypass Jim's inane comment with, "How was your swim?"

"Wet." A cough, a shake of his head. He tried again. "Warm."  _Damn it, Jim, get a hold of yourself._ "It was good," he muttered.

Len touched his arm, just a light tap but it made Jim's skin tingle. "You should try to sleep Jim, it's late."

Jim frowned, finally finding some words. "What about you? I could be in bed in ten minutes, you've not even had your swim yet."

"I slept earlier, now I'm wide awake. Damned insomnia on top of the jet lag."

"I'm sorry," Jim said, and then he spoke before he could stop himself. "I have a party tonight, a friend from back home, I wanted to see him. You could come along?" Jim asked, hopeful, desperate. Was he obvious?

"With you, and your pal?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah, we're meeting at a bar, you should come. Let me know when you're ready and we can go together, I mean, if you like, if you don't have plans."

"Jim, you know my plans are based at the bottom of a whiskey glass. I'd like to go with you," he said softly. "Thanks kid."

Jim smiled and Len moved to the edge of the pool. He turned towards the water and then, with a final wink and a clear - but definitely more subtle than Jim - look down Jim's body, he said, "I'll see you later." He took the final step to the water's edge and launched straight in with a perfect dive, making Jim swallow hard at the thought of being in there with him.

Jim began to walk backwards, just staring. He raised his hand in a little wave as Len resurfaced, swiping both hands over his hair and streaming with water. Jim stumbled into something behind him. He looked down to curse the bench at his heels and finally turned and wandered slowly back to the changing rooms, hoping Len hadn't seen his clumsiness.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Jim didn't have to wait long for Len. There was a knock at his door while he was brushing his teeth. He reached around to it, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. "Hi," he said with his mouth full, wide eyed at the colour of Len's shirt.

Len smiled and took the door from him as Jim ducked back into the bathroom to rinse.

"It's too much, isn't it?" Len said, tugging on the shirt when Jim came back into the room, laughing.

"Oh, I dunno, I mean it's dark out, I won't lose you at least, that's a bonus right there," he said on a laugh.

Len raised an eyebrow at him and before Jim could blink he'd shrugged out of his suit jacket and pulled up the hem of the bright orange camouflage tshirt. Off, over his head revealing once again those toned abs that had Jim's imagination flashing through inappropriate images as he stared. Len pulled his hand through the neck of the shirt, grabbed the hem and turned it inside out before pulling it back on, smoothing it back over his chest and stomach while Jim continued to look on.

"Better?" Len asked, scooting past Jim into the bathroom to check his reflection.

The muted reverse side was better, Jim had to admit. "There's a label here," he said, stepping up behind Len and grabbing a small pair of nail scissors. "Let me get this for you." Jim took hold of the black label and cut carefully through the threads until he could take it out. His fingers brushed against the soft hairs on Len's neck and he swallowed weakly before he could say: "There, all done," as he withdrew his hand.

Len was watching him in the mirror. "Thanks Jim."

Jim smiled, feeling the need for more space than there was in the small bathroom. He took a step backwards and Len followed, taking up his jacket from the floor and pulling it on.

"Are you ready?" he asked. "Got your phone?"

Jim nodded.

"Got your keycard?"

"Yeah," Jim laughed.

"Got your jacket? It might rain," Len said.

Where was all this happy coming from? Jim laughed again, certainly not complaining, and grabbed his jacket. "Ok, let's go," he said, and gestured for Len to open the door.

They picked up a taxi outside the hotel and Len held the door for Jim. He suddenly wondered why he had thought this was a good idea. He didn't really know the guy that well, what if he didn't get on with Spock? What if he hated the bar? But they were there before Jim knew it and Len paid before Jim could insist on splitting the fare. He would make sure to get in the first round of drinks instead.

Inside they were instantly assaulted by the noise from the busy interior and Jim looked to Len with a little concern, but Len just smiled and urged Jim further into the crowd.

Jim had to lean in to make himself heard as they headed to the bar. "Beer?" he asked.

Len nodded, smiling, speaking into Jim's ear and making him shiver. "Whatever you're having."

They found a spot and squeezed in, hips bumping as they were jostled from either side. But Jim managed to keep himself together while he ordered. "Cheers," he said when they both had a bottle.

Len smiled again and took a long drink. "Ahh, that's good. Thanks Jim."

"No problem." They were still too close. "Should we..."

"Find your friends?" Len suggested.

Jim led the way, Len following close behind until Jim felt a tap on his hip when they'd gone a little way. He looked around and Len was pointing across to an area of tables. "That him?" he asked. Spock was standing and trying to attract Jim's attention.

It seemed that Spock and Uhura had been there for some time already, along with Sulu, and Chekov who was currently up at the bar for more drinks. After introductions they all sat and got to know each other a little. Spock had lived over here for a year but Jim was impressed by his circle of friends. He'd never really been one to make new friends easily and Jim had worried for him before he moved. He'd learned a lot of the language from his girlfriend, but he'd always been the more studious between the two of them and so Jim wasn't so surprised by that.

Jim found that although he was pleased to see his friend again, he was equally excited to be with Len and hear him talk a little more about himself. Len seemed to be enjoying the company, the booth they were in was set back from the main bar and they could mostly hear each other.

Jim's round came up and he left the others to go up to the bar. When he returned with the drinks too many minutes later, Spock and Uhura were dancing, Sulu and Chekov were nowhere to be seen and Len, well Jim's heart lurched when he couldn't see him. He put down the drinks and then searched around, finally climbing onto the bench seat behind the table to get a good look around the bar. There. A corner by the restrooms, Len standing awkwardly, a young guy beside him, standing way too close while Len looked as if he was getting more mad by the moment.

Jim jumped down, a fierce possessiveness overtaking him as he pushed his way through the crowd to reach him. When he got close he called Len's name.

Len caught his eye immediately. "Hey kid, I was just coming." He caught up the young guy's hand and removed it from his arm. "Excuse me," he said. "I already told you, I'm with someone."

The guy turned to Jim and backed off, raising both hands and grinning widely. "Hey, no harm, no bother, we were chatting, you know?"

Jim couldn't bring himself to smile. He knew they weren't on a date but he certainly hadn't brought Len out here to be accosted by random guys. He felt stupid though when he realised that of course, Len could take care of himself.

Len moved towards him and came close, taking Jim's hand, setting Jim's pulse racing. He was looking serious. "Sorry about that, he wanted to know if I could get him free drinks, guess he's seen my face before." So he'd been a freeloader. That was probably worse than what Jim had imagined. Len was looking beyond him now. "I think it's time for your friends to be leaving," he said.

Jim followed his eyes and sure enough, Chekov and Spock were being surrounded by security and the bartender was raising a BB gun towards the ceiling, firing what were hopefully just warning shots as Jim's friends, laughing, quickly made their way to the exit. "What the hell?" Jim murmured, but Len was already tugging him along.

"Let's get out of here, Jim," he said, and Jim didn't hesitate.

They stumbled and bumped their way to the exit, and Len shoved Jim out through the front door onto the street. "What the hell kind of place did you take me to kid?" Len said, and Jim was already apologising but Len was grinning when he looked back. "Come on," he said, roughly as the door flew open again, spilling more people out onto the street.

Jim did consider waiting for Spock and the others but there was a message when he checked his phone with an apartment address and a big red pair of lips emoji. Jim shook his head and followed as Len led them through an alleyway towards a well-lit 24-hour arcade. They slowed and Len pushed open the door, ushering Jim inside. They wandered past a giant Mario, patrons on huge gaming screens, dance machines, old and modern games beside each other. It seemed to be a coffee shop as well, quieter than the bar but not quite the place for them. The whole night had been a world away from the hotel that was for sure. There was a doorway on the far side and Len took Jim's hand again and pulled him along. "Come on, let's find a cab, ok?"

"Len, man, I'm sorry," Jim said again, calmer now as they stood outside on the street again.

Len was laughing, "Don't worry about it Jim, are you having fun?"

Jim frowned, smiling, and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, yeah I am," he conceded. "You wanna go back to Spock's place? I have the address, can't guarantee what'll happen there, but we could risk it?"

"Sure, the night is still young," Len said, and when a taxi pulled up he took Jim's phone and showed the driver the address before they piled in.

Jim stared out the window as they drove, his head was buzzing from the music, from the alcohol, from Len taking his hand so many times. When he looked across to Len beside him the other man was looking back at him. They smiled at each other and Jim went back to his window watching, heart hammering just a little more than it should be.

 

Spock and his friends were in the middle of another party when Jim and Len arrived. Spock gave them both a hug as he opened the door to them. "It wasn't my fault I promise you Jim," he said and Jim really didn't care anymore.

Sometime later, drink in hand, he was handed a microphone and led up to the coffee table 'stage' in the living room while Spock changed the karaoke song. _Brass In Pocket_ started up and Jim shook his head, "Aw no, I'm not doing this by myself, ok? Spock, you better get up here man."

He wiggled his fingers at his friend and refused to start singing until Spock stood up beside him. He let Jim start the song though and before he knew it Jim was winking over to where Len was sitting with Uhura, and singing about using his arms and his style and his fingers and he almost couldn't get through it, but he kept on, with Spock duetting on the chorus and whooping when Jim sang, " _There's nobody else here, no one like me, I'm special_ ," and he blinked and felt the blood rush in his ears when Len mouthed along with him, "So special."

 

_I gotta have some of your attention, give it to me_

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, Doctor Leonard McCoy," Jim announced softly into the microphone, and Len narrowed his eyes as his song choice started up.

"This is hard," Len murmured, squeezing the bridge of his nose. Then he reached down for a shot glass and downed it before raising the mic to his lips.

Jim hadn't expected the voice that came through, not at all. He also hadn't expected so much direct eye contact with the hottest man in the room. Len's voice was deep, gravelly, perfect as he sang.

_More than this, you know there's nothing, more than this, tell me one thing, more than this..._

Later, sitting out in the hall lighting up another cigarette, Jim had to wonder again why he had done this at all. What could they have between them? Just this few hours? What was the point in getting closer, in sharing anything together when it could go no further.

_There is nothing more than this._ Len had chosen the song after all. Jim needed to know what he felt about it. 

But in the end, when he heard the door click behind him and Len came out of Spock's apartment and sat down beside Jim on the bench, all he could do was smile, lazily hand over the smoke, and put his head on Len's shoulder as they sat there together in the dim hallway.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

It was still dark, but only just. Jim was still humming as Len led him down the stairs and into yet another taxi. Jim was finally tired, so tired. He closed his eyes as soon as his head went back against the headrest, opening them sleepily once they were moving, looking across to Len.

Len's lips were set in a smirk as he gazed across the back seat at Jim. Jim could only smile back and close his eyes again. He felt a tap on his thigh as if Len was patting him companionably.

Jim's thoughts were still replaying moments from the night - Len standing up on Spock's coffee table singing, _"What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?"_ It was raucous, it was terrible, it was hot. Jim had loved it.

After that there'd been dancing, bad, drunken dancing. Spock grabbing Jim and twisting and twirling him until Len cut in, and then there were whispered words which sometimes Jim couldn't hear, he just knew that every time Len got close to him Jim felt lighter, his skin shivered and his heart became frantic. He had never known these kind of reactions, not with John, not with anyone. It had to be more than just lust, Jim felt something bigger. He forced his eyes open again, raised his head, ready to talk... Len was asleep, head resting against the side window. Jim sighed and let himself be lulled again by the movement of the car and the lights outside as they crossed through the city.

***

Daylight was on its way as they pulled up to the Park Hyatt. Len paid the driver and looked longingly over at Jim. He looked so peaceful. He went around to Jim's side and opened the door. Jim startled awake and managed to not fall further than Len's waiting arms as he hefted him out.

"How are you awake?" Jim slurred, as Len got an arm around his waist.

"'s a good job one of us is," Len told him. He got them moving and made it to the elevators without stumbling too much. Len propped Jim against the wall beside the doors and held him in place with a lightly pressed palm on his chest, trying to remember what floor Jim's room was on.

"Forty-four," Jim murmured, and he was grinning at Len, eyelids a little heavy - dammit the kid was adorable.

He took Jim's shoulder and urged him into the elevator. Jim first of all leaned against the wall but when it started upwards he slid down to his ass before Len could stop him, as if he just couldn't compete with gravity anymore. Len crouched down so he could check on him. He peered into Jim's face and before he knew it Jim had reached out and drawn him into a two-armed hug. Len nearly lost his balance but he righted himself, one hand on the wall by Jim's shoulder as they stayed in the awkward embrace.

"I had a great night, Len," Jim whispered, and the slight slur to his words was both concerning and cute.

"Come on, we're almost there. Can you stand up?" Jim tried but without taking his arms from around Len's neck he couldn't manage it. "Come on," Len said again, and slipped his arm back around Jim's waist, trying to avoid lingering over how good the younger man's body felt against him. He stood, pulling Jim with him, just as the elevator came to a gentle halt.

Within two steps it was obvious Jim wasn't going to make it. He had started giggling and his feet just weren't going in the same direction. Len stopped and before he could over-think it he leaned forward, grasping Jim's wrist and pulled him over his shoulder in a fireman's lift.

Jim's comical cry as he was manhandled made Len laugh and he patted Jim's leg as he walked them along the hallway.

"Will you get my keycard?" Jim asked after a moment, apparently quickly coming to terms with his new position.

"Where is it?" Len asked reluctantly.

"Back pocket," Jim said through another giggle.

Len raised an eyebrow. "D'you mind?" he asked softly and Jim murmured, "Go ahead," so Len gently slipped his free hand into Jim's jeans and withdrew with the card.

He was fine. Jim's ass near to his face, his hand in his pocket, Len was fine. He was a doctor dammit.

They reached Jim's door and Len held up the card, waited for the beep and pushed it open. Jim was still laughing when Len dumped him, carefully, onto his bed and pulled off his shoes.

He stood back up and looked down at Jim lying there - dammit if he wasn't the most beautiful thing Len had ever seen. Hair tousled, shirt rumpled, odd-socked feet wriggling as he gazed up at Len. Len shook his head fondly.

"'s a big bed, if you wanna share?" Jim murmured sleepily.

Len sighed and tugged the half of the covers Jim wasn't lying on over and up to Jim's shoulders. "I have my own room," he said pointlessly.

"I know, just wanted to offer," Jim said on a yawn.

Len couldn't resist it. He stepped close to Jim's side, ran a hand through his soft hair and bent to kiss his forehead. "I had a blast, kid," he murmured, as Jim closed his eyes.

 

Len let the door click quietly shut and wandered back to take the stairs to his own floor. He needed to walk off the alcohol a little more. Back in his room he kicked off his shoes, sank down on the bed and then noticed the fax on the machine. He reached for it and saw yet more decorating choices from Jocelyn. He rubbed his eyes and lay back down, mad at himself. Pulling out his phone he dialled home, let her talk as he murmured agreements in the right places, began to tell her about the party and then realised she really wasn't listening and he really didn't want to share.

"Have a great night," he finally said. "Or morning, I guess." She repeated the same and they hung up.

Len closed his eyes. Too tired, too drunk. Wanting. More than anything now, wishing he'd said more to Jim tonight. Told him what he was going through. The fact that they were both clearly struggling with their relationships meant something. It had to.

He couldn't push it though. He was the older one here, theoretically the wiser. Probably not though.

God, he wanted Jim. He reached out across the bed, fingers grasping only soft covers where he wished there was Jim's warm body. He'd already taken this way too far, and not nearly far enough.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jim awoke with a sore head and a lingering sense that he'd missed something important from the night before.

He groaned and rolled off the bed to make it to the bathroom. After downing enough water to last him a week, he felt a little better.

What must Len be feeling? He'd matched Jim pretty much drink for drink. Jim sat on the bed for a moment, stunned to remember dancing together, Len holding him close, spinning him around. He lay back, hands to his face when he remembered not being able to walk straight and that Len actually had to carry him to his room. That was pretty hot actually, embarrassing, but Len picking him up... definitely hot.

He grabbed his phone and scrolled through the notifications: Spock, inviting them both out again that night, another asking Jim to call him because they needed to talk about LEN. Jim shook his head and ignored that one for now. At the bottom of the list was a text from an unknown number but Jim knew instantly it was from Len - at some point last night Jim had grabbed Len's phone and saved his number on there.

_Jim, I hope you slept, I hope you dreamed big, I think we should do that again._

Oh yes... Len wanted to see him again? Like another 'date'? He jabbed the call button and lay back down when he heard Len's voice. But it was his voicemail. He considered leaving a message but realised he hadn't tested his voice yet and with a loud cough he decided against it and ended the call.

He stared at his phone for a while and wondered what he should do for breakfast. John had a room service tab set up but Jim didn't like to take advantage of it. He supposed that today though could be an exception. He dragged himself up and took a look at the menu, called through and ordered some eggs and bacon, plus a green smoothie because he knew he should.

As he was showering he heard a text alert. He carried on washing and thought about who he should be hoping the message was from. John. Of course John. But he stuck his head fully into the spray when he realised that he had to have this conversation with John as soon as he got back to Tokyo. He wasn't hoping for anything from his boyfriend anymore. That ship had sailed without Jim on board and he was fine with that. It had taken an interest in another man to understand it maybe, but that was life sometimes and Jim would let John down as gently as he could. Whatever was or wasn't going on with Len, Jim knew what he had to do now.

The text was from Len. Jim's stomach leaped when he saw it.

_Another shoot, can I pick you up later? My head hurts._

Jim laughed and replied with: _Mine too. I hear apple juice is a great hangover cure. See you at the hotel._

 

He mooched around, reading, lying still with his music playing, staring from the window again, focussing on how he was going to tell John it was over. How best to do it.

Aside from that unpleasant narrative, his thoughts flitted constantly back to Len, to their night together, to the messages Len had felt compelled to send him this morning. Jim wondered how long he would be, wished he'd asked for a time but didn't want to seem pushy or too keen. He was too keen though. All he could see was Len in that dumb shirt from last night.

He made several changes of clothes, changing his favourite blue jeans for black and then back again, swapping a white tshirt for dark blue and then opting for a flannel shirt because if they were going out then he wanted to look a little smarter.

He was going for his boots so he was ready to leave and underestimated the distance between his toes and the end of the bed.

"Aww fuck," he cried and sat down heavily on the carpet, yanking off his sock and grimacing at his poor red middle toes. How did he even catch both of those and not his big toe? It was painful. He held onto them for a few minutes, as if squeezing them in his hand would actually help. Eventually he gingerly pulled his sock back on and got up to find his boots, taking extra care over his foot placement this time.

After pain meds he just about managed to walk in a straight line back to the bed and had just sat down to wait some more when there was a knock on the door.

Jim took a deep breath and tried to calm his suddenly racing heart as he got the door on shaky legs.

Len was make-up free, hair a complete hot mess, suit jacket open revealing a crumpled shirt and Jim could have jumped him right there.

"Hey," he said instead, and he stood aside to let Len in.

Len raised an eyebrow as he watched Jim hobble backward into his room. "What's going on?" he asked, as he followed and closed the door behind him.

"I banged up my toes," Jim said.

"Last night?"

"Ten minutes ago, not looking where I put my feet."

"Well, let's take a look at that, get your boots off," Len demanded and Jim felt that happy twinge in his stomach again at the tone of Len's doctor voice.

He did as he was told, trying not to smile in the face of Len's concern. He sat on the edge of his bed and kicked off his right boot. Then the most gentle of touches as Len took Jim's foot in one hand and gently slipped off his sock with the other. Jim nearly groaned out loud. His head went back and he scrunched his eyes closed, _fuck fuck fuck it_.

"Does it hurt?" Len asked and Jim peaked at him through one eye.

He nodded. It did hurt but it was Len's touch that was giving him the hardest time.

After a few very careful prods which were actually more ticklish than anything, Len sat back on his heels. "Dammit kid, that's gonna fall off. I gotta take you to a doctor."

"What? You're a doctor! Take a look," Jim said, shoving his foot back into Len's hand as Len went to move away.

"No, no way. I am not qualified for that. Hospital - right now."

"It's not that bad though, is it?" Jim asked as he reached for his sock.

Len sighed and handed him his blue stripey sock from the carpet by his knee. "It might be broken Jim, we need to get you checked out. Do you, uh... need a hand with that?" he added as he watched Jim struggle.

Jim chuckled but it was a frustrated, kind of painful, chuckle. "Yeah, yes I do, I am too hungover for this shit," he admitted finally.

Len put a hand on his knee, stopping Jim's movements. "Here," he said and took the sock, stretching it wide and pulling it over Jim's sore foot with ease.

"Thanks," Jim murmured.

"Ok, put your foot down here," Len continued, holding out Jim's boot just under his foot. Jim did as he was told again and Len guided his foot in and laced up the boot with nimble fingers. He smiled up at Jim. "Let's go," he said softly.

"Weren't we going for lunch?" Jim said as Len helped him down the hallway. Jim was trying hard to think straight, soberness plus Len's arm around his waist was a completely different experience from last night.

"How can you think of food at a time like this?" Len asked and Jim frowned at him.

"Are you sure I need a hospital? Can't you just strap it up for me?"

"I don't have any supplies with me kid, you need an xray."

"It's not that bad, I'm hungry," Jim grumbled as they took the elevator. Len didn't let him go.

The nearest medical centre turned out to be two blocks away from the hotel, but Len had insisted on a cab. He helped Jim out and sat him on a bench while he went to find a wheelchair. At this point Jim really thought the guy was messing with him, but he was also enjoying the attention too much to care.

He texted Spock while he was waiting, a brief thank you for last night, and that he'd ask Len about his plans before agreeing to another evening with his friends.

Jim's problem now was that he would rather be with the man currently rushing towards him with a wheelchair and making ambulance noises, than anywhere else.

He stood up as Len came closer and Len helped him into the chair before immediately rushing them through the automatic doors and up to the check-in desk.

Len spoke with the nurse on duty and managed to relay what the problem was a lot quicker than Jim would have done. They were directed to the correct floor and several minutes later they were sitting outside the xray department and Len was flicking through a Japanese magazine while Jim watched him.

"Is this how you imagined spending your afternoon?" Jim asked him after a while.

Len looked up at him and flashed him the page he was reading. There was a naked woman there, sprawling over a motorbike. Jim shook his head and looked away laughing.

Len made a show of putting the magazine away and he leaned his elbows on his knees as he looked at Jim. "Honestly? I can't think of a better place to be right now, it's calm, peaceful."

Jim just smiled. He agreed. Despite the pain, dulled quite a bit now, he was enjoying himself.

"I'm telling John, when he gets back, I'm telling him it's over," he said. And to hear himself say it aloud was something. He whistled through his teeth and then realised that Len was just staring at him, shocked.

"Jim, are you serious? That's a big decision, a big step to make while you're on vacation."

"I know, but I've made up my mind. It's been over for a long time, I need to tell him."

A doctor emerged from the xray room at that moment, studying a sheet of paper in his hand. He called Jim's name in a thick accent but it was recognisable. Jim got to his feet and Len stood as well, offering to help.

"I'm all good, thanks Len," Jim told him with a hand on his shoulder. Len sat down reluctantly and Jim hobbled across to the doctor's office.

Thankfully the universal language of pointing worked out, and the doctor was soon examining Jim's foot, an xray was completed super-fast, and soon enough Jim was back in the waiting area with bandaged toes and a copy of his xray as a souvenir.

Len was still sitting on the group of near empty seats, but now he was clutching a brown fluffy toy which appeared to be no more than a furry ball. Len held it up for Jim to take and then wheeled the chair over for him to sit in.

"Len, I'm fine, I don't need it, really."

"D'you want me to carry you again, kid?" Jim chuckled and shook his head. "Well then sit - just until we get outside."

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"We missed lunch," Jim grumbled.

"We'll be eating in five minutes," Len promised.

Jim stroked his fluffy toy and grinned up at Len - "Thanks for this," - while he raced him along the hallway. He slowed when a couple of staff rounded a corner and Jim had to hold on as they came to an abrupt stop.

"Are you sure you're a real doctor?" Jim laughed. "I hope you don't treat your patients at home this way."

"No, you're a special case Jim. Now grab your toy, let's go," he added.

Jim held the thing under his arm, "Where did you even find it?" and held onto Len's shoulder with the other, while Len's arm found its way around his waist. This position was becoming all too familiar.

Finally they were seated at a sushi bar and selecting their food from revolving plates. "Thanks for today," Jim said as they ate.

"No problem, I'm here for you Jim."

Jim paused for only a moment before asking a soft, "Why?" He had to know.

Len sighed and looked at Jim with sad eyes. He put down his glass of soda. "I'm not going back home. Not to the house. I'm not just abandoning them-" he assured Jim, "but I can't go back. I already knew that when I took this job, I was just too slow to talk to Jocelyn before I left. Couldn't ever find the perfect moment." He looked so down and serious.

Jim put a hand on his arm. "Wow, that's a lot more to handle than anything I've gotta do."

"Yeah, maybe. But I mean, my wife knows, deep down, she knows what we have to do."

"So, where will you go? Do you have a place lined up?"

"Nope. Another hotel, I guess until I can find somewhere."

"Where are you from? I know the South, but..."

"Atlanta, Georgia, born and raised," Len told him with a sigh. "How about you, Jim?"

"Riverside, Iowa."

"You ever think about moving on?"

"Oh, all the time. Especially since I graduated. What about you though, you'd want to always be near to your daughter?"

"Hmm, yeah, yeah. There's a lot to think about."

Jim took a deep breath. "You never answered my question you know, why you care enough to help me?" he said, words a little shaky.

Len looked at him and Jim could see him wrestling with what to say.

"I do care about you Jim, does there have to be a reason?"

Jim shook his head. "I guess not. For me though? I like spending time with you, I like talking to you, you make me laugh, you're hot as hell and I want to see you again, and _again_."

"Jim-"

Jim didn't let him go on. "I need to get back, have to talk to John," he said, and he brought out his wallet, getting caught up on his belt before he could open it, and threw down a few notes to cover the food.

"I'll see you," he said to Len but he couldn't meet his eye. Not right now.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back. I'm in the middle of a little confidence crisis, not the first, won't be the last I'm sure. So... any love for this story, or chapter would bring me tears of happiness :D

Len felt like the biggest prick he'd ever managed to be in his entire life. And he'd had to deal with calling out patients over some trivial ailment that didn't require them to be taking up valuable space in his waiting room. What he'd said, or not said, to Jim... this was worse.

He gave it twenty minutes before trying to call him, no answer. The kid had probably decided to delete his number.

Why couldn't he just have said what he was feeling? It wasn't as if they weren't being honest about everything else. But when they had talked about their home towns, they surely couldn't even pretend to start talking about meeting up back home when there were so many states in between them? Dammit. A quick Google route map showed him that actually it was only a twelve hour drive. That was doable. And anyway the kid had as good as said he wanted to get out of Iowa. Maybe they could work out somewhere they could get together every once in a while...

He shook his head. No. That kind of planning was for so much later. And now he was back to thinking it pointless to discuss it at all.

And yet Jim had been constantly on his mind since he'd first set eyes on him. Len wanted to spend all his remaining time in Japan with Jim. That was the bottom line. It didn't matter right now what would come after. Overthinking - that had always been his downfall.

He left a heartfelt voicemail and followed it up with an apology text and then set out back to the hotel. There was no sign of Jim and Len wondered if he'd struggled back on his bad foot or got a taxi by himself.

He bemoaned his stupidity all the way back to the bar. He ordered three shots and downed the first two in quick succession, sipping at the third when someone sat beside him.

He looked across eagerly, thinking maybe Jim had got his messages - not Jim. The lounge singer they'd been listening to all week. The red head who in a previous life might have been just Len's type, but who now he could just about muster a smile for. "Hey," he said, turning back to his drink.

"Hey yourself, Doctor McCoy," the girl purred.

Len looked back at hearing his name, and she was holding out her hand.

"Gaila," she murmured, and Len shook her hand briefly.

"You're not singing tonight?" Len asked.

"Just taking a break, thought I'd take a risk here and offer to buy you a drink... but you seem to have that covered already."

Len huffed out a short laugh and nodded his agreement. "Can I get you one instead?" he asked.

"Sure, a little whiskey's good for the voice, so they say."

"Is that right," Len said, and he could only think about the karaoke of last night and how much he had loved to hear Jim sing.

He bought Gaila a drink and they toasted. She tried to start up a conversation but Len had to apologise. "I'm sorry, I'm not myself right now, a lot of stuff going on..." he waved a hand vaguely around his temple and gave her an apologetic shrug.

"Where's your boy?" Gaila asked, apparently unconcerned by Len's explanation.

Len raised an eyebrow at her. "My _boy_?" he asked.

"I've seen you together," she was smiling. "You do make a cute couple."

"He's not my... we're not-" Len sighed in defeat.

"But you'd like him to be?" Gaila murmured.

Len nodded, finishing his third drink in one gulp. "Damn right," he said. He raised his hand to order another but Gaila's hand on his stopped him.

"How about taking it a little slower?" she said softly.

"Dammit, everyone knows what's best for me."

"No, I can just tell that this isn't going to help anything," Gaila said, quite accurately. "Have you tried talking to him?"

"Oh Lord, yes I have. I need to talk less in my humble opinion."

"In my experience," the girl said, "talking is the only way to get to the bottom of anything." She gave a cute little head tilt and Len had to smile.

He nodded. "I think you're a wise young woman," he conceded.

It was only then that he looked up and saw Jim midway to approaching the bar but currently looking at Len's arm on the bar top, and at Gaila's hand still laying on top of his.

"Oh," he frowned, moved his hand away, jumped up, "Wait, kid- Jim!"

But he was already gone.

Len slumped back onto his seat. "This day has turned into a total train wreck," he muttered.

Gaila was watching him. "Are you gonna go after him? Or should I?"

"I'm going, I'm going," Len said and he stood up to try to make any of this better.

As an afterthought he bent to kiss Gaila's cheek on the way passed. "Thanks, this was helpful," he told her beaming face. "Good luck with your singing career, you've got a great future ahead of you."

 

 

With hindsight those three whiskeys weren't such a great idea. Len rushed out into the hallway searching around for Jim but there was no sign of him. If he hadn't started on the alcohol again he might have been able to think straight. He went to the elevator and went down - all the rooms were down, or maybe Jim had gone to the lobby, or up to the restaurant?

Len paced inside the thankfully empty elevator car as it descended. At Jim's floor he exited, ran to his door and knocked as loud as he could.

No answer. Was he in there, ignoring Len? Or not there at all?

Len called out to him, "Jim, please-" When there was still no response he rushed on, down to the lobby. At the front desk he pushed between two other guests as he hurriedly asked if Jim had been through. The answer was inconclusive.

He dashed outside, more rain was falling and Len couldn't see Jim in either direction.

He tried his phone again but it rang out and with a heavy heart Len slunk back inside, wet hair dripping down to his collar.

 

 

Jim walked and walked. The pain meds were doing their job, he could barely feel his toes anymore. When he'd completed a circuit of one floor he'd take the stairs and head down to the next. He shouldn't be this bothered about a silly hand on an arm. He had no idea what Len had been doing with that girl but it didn't necessarily mean anything. Jim had no right to be angry at him.

And yet, he had told Len how he felt and the guy had gone to the bar with someone else? Jim had every right to be pissed at that.

He continued on, his thoughts going in the same circles as his feet.

His phone was on silent and he didn't want to know whether Len had tried to call him or not. He was so messed up right now. John wasn't due back for another two days, Jim could call him, but he wanted to have that conversation face to face.

And now this up and down with Len.

Finally, his foot began to throb and he went back to his room and finally checked his phone. There were so many messages and texts he didn't know where to start so he sent off a general text to Spock, John and Len saying he was dead tired and was going to try to sleep. He lay down, kicked his boots off and closed his eyes.

When he woke up he was in trouble. His foot was hurting real bad and he sat up so he could pull his sock off but it was too painful to touch enough to get a look.

The only person he could call was Len and that was awkward. But he certainly wasn't about to call an ambulance or the hotel doctor, not a chance. He reached for his phone and saw another few missed calls. He called Len.

"Jim, I've been so worried, are you ok?"

"No, my foot really hurts Len, I think I walked too far on it..."

"I'll be right there."

Jim sighed and threw down his phone. Now he'd have to get up to open the door. He would do that now so he could lie straight back down again. He crawled off the bed, keeping any further weight off his foot, hopped across the room and shoved a boot in the doorway once he'd opened it. Then he hopped and flopped back to the bed.

He was lying there feeling sorry for himself when Len appeared in the doorway.

"What the hell were you thinking Jim? You've got broken toes - of course they're not up to much walking right now."

"I was mad," Jim said staring at the ceiling.

He felt Len sit on the edge of the bed. "At me?" he ventured and Jim cocked his head so he could look at him.

"Yeah. Well, not at you exactly, but at this whole thing."

"That woman you saw, she came over to talk to me, we ended up talking about you Jim, I wasn't-" he paused before continuing more softly. "I never meant to hurt you Jim, as soon as I sort out my marriage, there's no one else, I promise you."

Jim raised up onto his elbows. "Do you like me?" he asked, and he thought he had never sounded more like an eight year old in his life.

But Len smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah kid, you could say that. I've not thought of much else since I met you. I like you."

Jim heaved out a sigh and lay back down. "Why couldn't you have said that this afternoon, huh?"

"You didn't exactly give me the chance."

"I'm impatient. It's a failing of mine," Jim admitted.

"Want me to look at your toes? Did you take your pain meds?"

"Yes, please. And yes, but I don't know what time it was."

"Jim, you need to look after yourself. You can't mess with medicine."

Jim had to smirk. "Sorry, Doctor," he said cheekily.

Len shook his head as he once again removed Jim's sock. He hummed and frowned and eventually grumbled that it was ok, but he grabbed a pillow and pushed Jim down by his chest as he elevated his foot and then pointed and said, "Stay. I'll be back with some ice."

Jim's heart was near enough knocking against his ribs as he lay back, did what he was told. "Is it hot in here?" he said to the empty room.

Len was back within a couple of minutes and he put some ice in a towel before wrapping it around Jim's toes.

"Ok, you're all set. But you're not to move, y'hear? Not for at least thirty minutes."

"What if I need to use the bathroom? Or get some food?"

Len just looked at him. "Should've thought of that before you went hiking on that thing."

"I didn't go hiking, just might have traversed the parts of the hotel I haven't seen yet," Jim mumbled.

"Jim, it's fifty-two floors!"

"Only thirteen of those belong to the hotel. And don't worry, I didn't walk all of them."

Len let out a sigh and sat down in the chair by the bed. "Did you talk to John?" he asked.

Jim put both hands to his face. "Yeah, yeah I called him, said we needed to talk when he got back. Didn't achieve much. How about you, still gonna wait until you're back home to talk to your wife?"

"Hmm, I don't know Jim, I can't get her to concentrate on me for more than ten seconds, how can I tell her about his over the phone?"

"You could try. I think you'd feel better." Len made a non-committal sound. "Would it make you feel better, about spending time with me?" Jim asked quietly.

Len took a deep breath and leaned in so he was closer to Jim on the bed. "Jim, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I just... I feel permanently guilty right now. I thought if I told you how I feel it'd make it real, it'd be the worst kind of cheating."

Jim flopped his head back onto the pillow, wishing he could get up and walk around. "Yeah, I know, I've been feeling the same, believe me."

"Jim," Len said, "will you look at me?"

Slowly, Jim turned his head toward the man again. This rush of adrenaline whenever the man was near was getting to be a problem.

"I want you."

Jim swallowed. Even though it was what he'd wanted to hear, he was still thrown and he couldn't find his voice. So they stared at each for too long and finally he had to move, pulled himself to sit up, the ice fell off his foot but he barely noticed.

When he was upright, he found something to say. "Spock invited us out again tonight. You wanna go?"

Len smiled at him. "Are your friends going to behave themselves?"

"Can't guarantee that, I'm afraid."

"What about you, Jim?" Len murmured.

"I can't guarantee that either."

"Good."

Jim cleared his throat. "I'm er... I'm gonna make another call. See if I can switch rooms."

Len frowned. "You're serious?"

"Totally. I can't wait any longer."

Len nodded. "Do you... will you call me when you're done?"

"'Course."

Len gave Jim's shoulder a pat as he stood up. "Floor forty, if you're able to choose," he said as he went for the door. "Put that ice back on, kid."

Jim grabbed it and stretched out his foot, it felt a little better. He shoved the ice on anyway and reached for his phone as the door clicked closed.

Jim took a deep breath and made the call.

"John, can we talk?"

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Len sat on the edge of his bed, a hand over his forehead as he spoke softly into the phone. He had no right to get mad as well, it wasn't in him - he wanted to make this better even though he knew he couldn't. And he couldn't stop Jocelyn's yelling from this distance. Probably not from any distance. He deserved it, she could react however she damn-well wanted. He got a word in when he heard his daughter's name.

"Yeah, yes I promise," he said, voice calm but a little louder to try and make sure she knew he was serious about this. "I'll sit her down when I get home and talk to her ... I will ... I'm sorry," he repeated for maybe the fifth time.

He hadn't expected this reaction, maybe because Jocelyn was always the stronger one, taking charge of situations he wasn't able to. But _this._ He sighed again, feeling he'd done the wrong thing by making the call, knowing that there would never have been a good time anyway, and dragging it out was unfair on them both. He hadn't mentioned Jim, of course, he had kept it simple. Causing undue heartache wasn't what he wanted.

"At least your stuff is already boxed up," Jocelyn said after a moment. The decorating. Dammit, she was right. "You planned this so well didn't you?" she said, a little quieter now.

"No, no, I didn't mean to do it this way," Len told her again. "I've had too much time to think over here, I just couldn't leave you guessing until I got back. I didn't plan any of this, I promise you." There was silence and for a moment Len thought she had hung up again. "Joss? Will you be ok? Until I get back-" It was a dumb question.

"Oh Len, you think I need you here for your shoulder to cry on? Don't flatter yourself, you bastard."

Len nodded to himself. "Ok... ok," he whispered.

He had nothing to say that would make either of them feel better about ending ten years of marriage. Jocelyn was in no mood to set his mind at rest that she would be fine and he didn't blame her. Maybe she would carry on as normal, perhaps try to break part of it to Joanna so that it wasn't such a shock later on. That was what she would do in normal circumstances, but all bets were off when you'd just been dumped from the other side of the world.

Jocelyn ended the call without another word and Len stared at his phone for more than a minute, the adrenaline wearing off, feeling crappy, feeling a weight had been lifted.

Finally he stood and grabbed his jacket, heading out for some air. He had cancelled today's shoot, there was a final one to attend but for now he just couldn't manage it.

He felt instantly guilty when he thought of Jim, he wanted desperately to be with him, despite everything, that was still what he wanted.

 

 

A thump on his door jolted Len out of a slumber he'd somehow managed. He mumbled something unintelligible, rubbed at his eyes so he could see the time and finally made it out of bed and to the door just as something was slipped underneath it. He bent to pick it up and read the note on the white card. _Are you awake?_ He smiled at the wobbly handwriting and cautiously pulled open his door. Jim was leaning on it as Len had pretty much expected. When the door moved Jim took an unsteady step and slowly turned around until they were facing each other.

"You _are_ awake!" Jim cried. He'd been drinking again. They really had to work on their sobriety.

"Jim, would you get in here?" Len said, checking around in the hallway before tugging Jim into the room. "How's your foot?" he asked as Jim sidled in and made himself at home on the couch under the window.

"Better, I think the beer took the edge off," Jim mused.

"You're drinking with pain meds? Jim," Len sighed. What was he going to do with this kid? "Let me get you some water."

He grabbed a bottle from the supply by the minibar and handed it to Jim.

"So my new room is just down the hall there, they're moving my stuff as we speak."  
Len crouched down on the floor by Jim's feet. "Are you ok?" he asked, a hand going tentatively onto Jim's knee.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. It's over," he said simply. "He's not happy about it, but he's not rushing back to talk some more about it either, so he can't be that bothered."

"I'm sorry Jim."

"No, it's ok, I don't need any sympathy here, I should have done this months ago. I feel bad for John, but he's resilient. He'll be over it in a day or two."

"I'm sure you mean more to him than that, kid."

"Well, I have no regrets Len. None."

Len smiled at his adamant spirit. He stood up and paced away so he could clear his head a moment. "I made a call as well," he said, turning slowly back to Jim.

Jim raised both eyebrows, looking genuinely surprised. "You did?"

"I did. It went about as well as it could."

"Oh man, I think you need this more than I do," Jim said, holding out his water bottle. Len raised an eyebrow but took it for a brief swig.

"You're worried she'll trash all your stuff while you're not there, aren't you?"

Len shook his head. "She's not like that, Jim, no I'm not worried."

Jim took the bottle back and Len had to remind himself that Jim had been drinking again as he held it to his lips and sing-songed, "She's gonna do it."

"Dammit Jim, she is not going to trash my possessions."

"I'm kidding, Len, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Len ruffled a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. "Man, this has been a day of it."

"Right," Jim agreed. "What d'we do now?" he added, smiling up at him.

Len was hard-pressed not to go over and show him what he wanted to be doing. Instead he said, "How about a movie?"

 

Jim fell asleep during the first one, lying with his hand on Len's ankle, tucked up sideways on the bed, his head near to Len's hip. Len wanted desperately to touch him too but he held back and just tried not to watch his steady breathing and peaceful face as he slept. It was obvious a weight had been lifted from them both, Len had not yet seen Jim this relaxed, alcohol induced or otherwise. He was glad for the kid. At his age especially, being tied into the wrong relationship, it wasn't cool. For himself, for his family, he just felt bad. But he knew that he had done the right thing, for both him and Jocelyn. They couldn't have carried on as they were. She was pissed, rightly so, but maybe she'd come around to the idea with time to think...

Jim stirred by his side as the credits rolled on the movie. "Sorry," he mumbled as he dragged himself from sleep.

Len put his hand gently on Jim's head and stroked his hair. "Sleep, Jim, you don't have to be anywhere," he said softly.

Jim hummed and closed his eyes. "Can you stay with me?" he asked and Len's chest ached so suddenly he had to put a hand to his sternum and hold his breath for a moment.

"'Course kid. It's my room after all," he whispered. How was it they had found this much peace together? Strangers just a few days ago and now sharing these moments, changes that they had made in this place, life-altering decisions. Now if they could work out a path where they could be together, so that Len didn't have to lose the one thing that had made the biggest impact on him since the birth of his own child, if they could do that he would be content.

He kept his hand resting lightly on Jim's head, running his fingers through his hair, no intentions of moving.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just got inspired for the next chapter and thought I'd link to my inspiration because it's so good :)
> 
> [Jim](http://lovefushsia.tumblr.com/post/166602511045/dailychrispine-chris-pine-photographed-by-brian)


	10. Chapter 10

Jim ordered room service and went for a swim. He was thinking of Len pretty much constantly at this point. Len had a shoot, Jim almost wanted to ask if he could go along but he didn't quite have the nerve. So he'd made himself busy, taking advantage of the last remaining days in the hotel before his flight left.

When he got back from the pool, wet hair slicked back from his forehead, the food on the tray was outside his room. He bent to lift the lid and the smell of the baked goods and juice that he'd ordered made him groan in delight. He knelt to take a miniature pastry off the tray and by the time he'd had that one he was too far gone. He sat down on the floor outside his door and picked up another - no idea what he'd ordered but damn these were good. He stretched out and leaned back on an elbow as he ate.

He was in a world of his own, just chilling out there in the hallway, enjoying his food and the change of scene when he looked up to the sound of his name.

"What are you doing out here kid? Forget your keycard?"

Jim smiled up as Len wandered up the hall.

"No, I've got it here, somewhere," Jim said, patting a pocket idly. "This just looked too good to wait until I got the door open."

"Hmm," Len murmured, "it does look good."

"You wanna try some?" Jim said, sitting up a bit and offering up one of his final pastries.

Len shook his head but offered his hand instead and Jim took it so Len could help him up. They were standing very close.

"How about dinner?" Len said and Jim stared, blinking for a moment, thrown by the innocent suggestion when they were so close and he could smell Len's cologne, see the texture of his luscious hair. He lifted his shoulders a bit, realising for the first time that he was a little taller than Len. Len had more bulk though and he'd be able to lift Jim, he was sure of it. Jim had never had that before.

Len was looking at him expectantly, eyebrow raised, head cocked to one side.

"Yeah," Jim breathed, "dinner." His eyes were drawn to Len's lips as he said it, and he had to force himself to look down, take a step backwards, avoiding the tray by their feet by a millimetre. Len backed up as well, giving Jim a little more room while he hunted for his keycard. "I'll, er... I need to take a shower," Jim stuttered. "Been swimming," he added, hand going to his damp hair.

"Shall I meet you back here? How long do you need?" Len asked.

Jim wanted to ask him in, he'd be quick, but he fumbled for a random time instead. "Thirty minutes?"

"I'll go get changed," Len said as Jim finally found his keycard and held it to the panel.

He turned around and Len winked at him over his shoulder. Jim's heart shuddered in his chest.

 

A car was waiting for them outside and Len ushered Jim over to it with a hand on his lower back. Jim started to heat up as they sat together. He wanted to touch. He kept snatching glances, watching Len as he talked or as he watched the passing neon lights. By the time they'd reached the restaurant Jim was far from hungry for food, he wanted Len so badly he could have launched across the seat at any moment - a meal, sitting across from each other in an intimate booth, Jim was already wondering how he was going to manage it.

Len picked up his menu and studied it for a moment. Jim had already seen his so he knew what Len was frowning over. A waiter came over and Jim tapped one of the identical pink meat platters and held up two fingers. "Two please," he said, "and two sodas." He caught Len's eye and with a nod Len agreed.

"Soda," the waiter repeated and he took the menus away, leaving Jim and Len alone.

"It all looks the damn same," Len muttered.

Jim smirked at him. They were at a cook-your-own type place and after a few moments the waiter returned with a pot of hot oil and two plates of raw meat with thin forks.

Jim rolled some meat onto his fork and dipped it into the oil with care. It sizzled right away and he glanced at Len who was watching warily from his side of the table.

"You sure about this Jim?" he asked. "How'll you know when it's cooked?"

"I think that's half the fun," Jim told him with a grin. He was only pretending to know what he was doing because he'd been to one of these places with John and his friends. He'd had a bit much to drink that night and couldn't really remember whether the food had been good or not. He was planning on staying sober tonight. At least during dinner anyway. Part of his troubles with John, he knew, revolved around Jim feeling the need to drink heavily whenever they went out together, just to get through the night. He only wanted to drink around Len for fun.

He took his skewered, fried meat out of the oil and turned the fork over between his fingers. Len was still watching him and Jim burst out laughing as he held it there. "I'm imagining how hungry I'll still be once I've eaten this," he said.

"I'm just waiting for you to taste it so I know whether to risk it," Len told him.

Jim didn't break eye contact as he put the fork to his lips and blew gently before taking a bite. Len's eyebrows rose as he watched. Jim winked before admitting, "Hmm, not bad."

"Jim," Len said in a warning tone that had Jim's gut clenching. God he wanted to hear more of that. He took a breath and forced himself to be calm.

Len picked up his fork and got to work on his own plate. Jim's racing pulse was affecting his appetite now but he skewered another strip and stuck it in beside Len's to cook.

Len put his chin in one palm, elbow on the table and Jim met his eyes again. "Where to after this?" Len asked.

"Got a message from Spock, they're heading to another bar tonight, asked us both along. You want to?" Jim just wanted to be where Len was.

"Sure, why not?" Len said and Jim kind of wished he'd said no so they could head back to the hotel.

"All right, great." He felt Len's foot touch his under the table and neither of them moved away.

They'd both managed to cook and eat most of the thin strips of anonymous meat and Jim had quite enjoyed it, he knew he would still have been hungry though if he didn't have so many nerves making his stomach squirm.

Len picked up his drink and held it out to Jim between them. Jim smiled and raised his own. "Here's to a different future," Len murmured and Jim's smile grew wider.

"Yes," he said and tapped their glasses together, thoughts surging back of jumping over the table and kissing him. He stayed where he was but his whispered sigh and quiet, "Len I hope that future includes you," slipped out before he could stop himself.

Len considered for a long enough moment that Jim began to have serious doubts. But then he reached across the table and took Jim's hand, wrapping long fingers around Jim's. "I want that, Jim, I can't imagine being back home without you there."

Jim couldn't help it. He grinned so widely he nearly laughed aloud. Len's sincerity was everything Jim needed to hear. He turned his hand over and grasped Len's firmly.

"Dessert?" Jim asked.

"Not here," Len murmured without looking away. His eyes held Jim's with an intensity Jim had never known. The amber tones within the green and brown... almost marbled together in the right light. He wanted to be closer still, close enough to look into those eyes just before he kissed him.

Words came out before he could say anything too forward for a restaurant setting. "You wanna... head to this bar?" he said reluctantly.

Len nodded but at the same time murmured, "No," as he smiled. Then he chuckled and added, "Come on then, get your coat." He was smiling again and shifted so he could catch the eye of the waiter.

Len paid and they slipped out of the booth and Jim shoved a couple of notes into Len's hand. "You can't pay for everything," he said.

Len looked reluctant but he pocketed the cash. "I like to treat you Jim," he told him quietly next to Jim's ear, putting a hand on his lower back in a gesture that was rapidly becoming familiar to Jim, and they left the restaurant.

Jim could see how easy it would be to allow himself to be taken care of by someone like Len, but he didn't want to think of taking advantage of him like that. If they were going to be together, Jim would pay his own way.

Len brushed his hand against Jim's and Jim turned his hand and held on as they walked.

"Do you drive?" Len asked.

"Yeah," Jim said.

"Own a vehicle?"

Jim sighed. "I borrow my stepdad's truck when I can," he said.

"So, you and John," Len started softly, maybe hesitant to bring up Jim's very recent ex. "You don't have a place together?"

"No," Jim said. "Never got around to it. Thank God," he said, suddenly realising how grateful he was about that fact. "There's some stuff of his I'll need to box up when I get back, but that's it."

"So you live with your folks?" Len asked. "Do you get along?"

"Ah..." Jim didn't really like to talk about his family, but for Len he would. "Mom keeps herself busy, Frank gets in my face more than I'd like."

Len was frowning when Jim looked over at him. "I'm sorry Jim."  


"Nah, it's not all bad, but you can see why I need to get my career sorted out - can't stay with them forever."

"Hmm," Len said, squeezing Jim's hand. "Is it just me," he started slowly, then seemed to falter. "I'm feeling edgy," he said.

"How do you mean?"

Len's eyes were sad as he said, "You don't think this might be it? This bubble here - it's all we're meant to have?"

Jim stopped and tugged on Len's hand. He moved them to the side of the walkway, out of the path of the constant flow around them. He sounded as panicked as he felt as he spoke. "No, no I meant what I said - I need to see you again, can't we figure something out?"

Len put up a hand to his cheek and Jim could feel the slight tremor against his skin. "Yes, I want that too Jim, more than anything. Let's sit down and work this out, ok? I have two more days, how about you?"

"Three," Jim murmured, trying to control his wavering emotions as he struggled with Len's touch, with his words, with the sense of desperation they were now dealing with.

The feel of Len's hand on his skin was almost too much and yet, it wasn't enough. But they'd not talked that through either. Len was married to a woman - bi then. But did he have experience with men? Jim felt he must have but it didn't matter either way, Jim wanted him.

"You're beautiful," he let slip and Len's sharp inhale of breath told him he'd spoken aloud.

"Jim," Len whispered. "Dammit kid, you're incredible."

He was so close, just a breath away, his fingers stroking lightly against Jim's cheek. He licked his lower lip as he looked at Jim's mouth. Jim sucked in a breath, his chest heaving in anticipation. Len stepped in, close enough that his chest nudged Jim's. Jim closed his eyes, he couldn't breathe.

"Jim!"

"Oh God." The breath left him in a rush and his eyes flew open. Len was wide-eyed, his hand fell from Jim's face as they both turned towards Spock. They were near to the bar, Spock was standing outside an almost hidden doorway, beckoning to them.

"Are you kidding me?" Len huffed out.

"I am so sorry," Jim said. "I'm gonna kill him." He pulled on Len's hand again. "I need a drink," he said. "It'll be dark inside, maybe we can disappear for a while."

Len frowned but let a little smirk appear as he trailed along behind Jim, muttering, "The city just ain't so kind tonight, huh?"

 

"It's a strip club."

They were standing in the entryway, Spock already inside heading for the bar. All around them were pole dancers in every state of undress, illuminated by coloured lights, sultry music playing and writhing bodies everywhere they looked.

Jim stood staring and then they looked at each other for a moment before Jim burst out laughing and they both shook their heads.

"Uh... Spock? Spock!" Jim called out, but he was already too far away to hear. He turned back to Len. "I'll text him."

"Good plan," Len agreed and then he nodded his head back towards the door. "Come on," he whispered and the words were heated, full of promise and Jim wanted to be somewhere alone with him right now.

He followed close as Len led them back outside and turned to check that Jim was really ok with leaving so soon.

"Yeah, yeah, that's really not my thing, it's ok, Spock's cool, he won't mind." He was already texting with one hand, not willing to let go of Len. A brief, _No way man, you know how I feel about those places!_ and he was done.

They made it to a wide intersection, and Len was careful guiding them across. Halfway though he stopped and stared at a truck going by. Jim looked at him before following his eyes and smiling widely - "Hey, that's you up there!" he said pointlessly, as a giant image of Len holding a glass of whiskey and looking to the camera with those shining eyes, passed them by. The crisp white shirt he wore was unbuttoned lower than was usual for him, revealing a chain and pendant around his neck. Jim stared for a long moment before shaking himself - he had the real thing right beside him.

He looked back at Len and he was looking pleased with himself. "You know what, I like that," he said. "That is me up there."

Jim tugged on his hand to get them moving again.

Len met his eyes, smiling widely. "Kinda makes it all worthwhile," he said.

Jim nodded, he couldn't disagree, he was the guy holding onto the beautiful man on that advertisement after all. And he was damn lucky.

 

They went to Jim's new room, under the very loose pretence of showing Len around. Jim shoved the door open and Len closed it behind them, leaning back against it as Jim got the lights. He turned around and Len was watching him.

Jim dropped his jacket where he stood and sauntered back towards him. "You know, I think we were in the middle of something earlier," he said, voice a little shaky as he stood toe to toe with Len. His hands were clasping at his sides and he wasn't sure how to start this, but he was bolstered by the fact that Len had been the one to start it already.

And once again as with their interrupted non-kiss out on the street, Len raised his hand and brushed his knuckles over Jim's cheek. "I think you're right," he murmured as Jim leaned in.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change of rating for this chapter. Finally things get heated - a big diversion from the film at this point, but McKirk smut for me is inevitable ;)

What began as a tentative press of lips, Jim unable to do more until he took a hold of himself and his nerves, developed into something heated and desperate. Jim didn't want to let go, now that they were finally touching like this.

When it softened Len whispered against his lips, his thumb stroking over them. "Jim."

Jim was breathing hard, it had been a good kiss. Len looked like he would be a good kisser and he had proved it. Jim leaned back in and their lips met again, arms entwining around each other and Jim began to tug Len away from the door. He knew they had to stop, to think, to talk - but he was enjoying the kissing so much.

Len pulled away again. "I don't wanna take advantage of you," he said, voice rough, hands around Jim's hips as he held him there.

Jim frowned, shook his head, "No, you're not, this is mutual, right? This is good-"

"Yeah, Jim, it is... it is..."

"So, what?" Jim asked softly, fingers itching to touch, but he wouldn't, not if Len was unsure. "Is it your..." he didn't want to say it but he kind of had to. "Your wife?" he said bluntly.

"What? No, no, it's not that. I just... I guess-" He was clearly struggling with what he wanted to say and Jim made it easier for him and took a step away, Len's hands dropping to his sides as Jim stepped back.

"What about a drink?" Jim asked, slowing things down. He was always one to rush into the physical stuff, if Len wasn't then that was just fine.

Len was smiling at him, but he still looked a little worried. "Sure, don't suppose you have any bourbon in there?" he asked as Jim went to the mini bar.

"Hmm," Jim said, taking a look. It hadn't been fully stocked, maybe due to Jim's late room change. Probably a good thing though. He pulled out two cans of Japanese lager and held them up. "I've got these?"

Len nodded and Jim cracked open the Sapporo, pouring one into two small glasses. He handed one to Len and then sat on the edge of the bed.

Len stood where he was for a moment and took a sip of his drink. He wandered over to the vanity unit across from the bed and perched on the edge. He met Jim's eyes and Jim could see only warmth and desire, exactly what he felt. Maybe he was projecting though?

"I've been married for more than ten years," Len began. "Before I met Jocelyn, I'd been with two others, both men. I hadn't thought about that period of my life for years, until I met you. I guess I'm trying to say, I may not be the experienced, capable man you're looking for."

Jim let out a laugh before he could stop himself, relieved that there wasn't something worse than this. "Are you kidding me? Len, you are exactly what I'm looking for."

"I'm older than you."

"I don't care."

"We live in different states."

"I don't care."

"I'm about to go through a divorce!"

"I don't care!" Jim said, getting to his feet.

"Dammit Jim," Len said.

"Are you listening?" Jim insisted. "I don't care about all these issues we have between us, they just make it more interesting - this is life! This is what I'm trying to find Len - you are what I've been looking for. Imagine all the adventures we can have together."

He put down his untouched drink and stood a couple of feet from Len who hadn't moved.

"You sayin' I'm overthinking this?" Len said more softly.

"I'm saying, if it feels right, we should go for it."

Len smirked at him. "You do feel right Jim, you do." He set his glass beside him and stood up. They were back to where they had been.

"If you wanted to kiss me again," Jim said softly, "this would be a good time."

Len huffed out a laugh and took a step, putting him right up against Jim, just where Jim wanted him.

"No more worrying, ok?" Jim murmured.

Len gave a gentle shake of his head before sliding a hand into Jim's hair and easing their mouths together.

Jim wrapped around him in an instant, hands grasping at Len's jacket, enjoying the feel of his body through the layers of clothing. It all felt effortless, natural for them to be doing this, as if they'd done it a thousand times before.

Jim was moaning into Len's mouth and pulling at his jacket to get it off his shoulders.

Len tore his mouth away, holding Jim's face between his hands. "Wait, Jim," he gasped out.

Wide-eyed, still in the kiss, Jim said, "What?"

Len's voice was shaky, like he couldn't quite catch his breath. That was good. "We still didn't talk about this..."

"I like it both ways but I really want you to fuck me right now," Jim said and then pursed his lips together, cheeks flushing a little. "Is that what you meant?" he asked.

Len was nodding already. "Yeah, that's exactly what I meant," he said gruffly, and Jim pulled him back into another kiss, turning them and pushing Len down onto the bed.

He fell on top and Len made an _oof_ sound as he hit his chest but they were right back into another kiss even as Jim began to tear off any clothes that he could.

Len was hard beneath him, Jim could feel it as he pressed their cocks together through their clothes and Len's gasp into his mouth made Jim's heart race.

"Jim," Len puffed out when Jim let up on the kiss to pull his shirt off, straddling Len's thighs as he yanked it over his head. He popped the buttons on his black jeans and his hands went to Len's belt and he gave a questioning head tilt. Len answered by tugging it open himself and then sitting up so Jim was in his lap, pulling him closer with both hands on his ass cheeks, smashing their mouths together again before Jim had a chance to catch his breath.

"Wait, wait," Jim said, pushing against his chest.

Len moved quickly from chasing Jim's lips to a concerned raised eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I need to get these off," Jim said pulling at his jeans. "And so do you," he said with a slight question to his tone.

Len shoved him gently and Jim scooted off and they didn't break eye contact as they both dragged off their jeans and Jim jumped straight back on as soon as Len was lying back on the bed.

Both naked now, aside from Len's pendant around his neck, Jim pressed his palms into Len's chest and Len looked up at him adoringly as Jim moved his hips in a slow circle. He wriggled his groin against Len's, taunting, teasing, rubbing his ass over Len's hard length. Len groaned and grabbed at Jim's hips, digging his hands into the flesh there.

Jim wanted him - he was ready, he needed him.

"Jim," Len murmured and there it was, that tone that had made Jim weak for him since their first meeting.

"Oh God, yeah, yeah Len."

Len pulled him down against his chest and kissed him again, Jim wrapped his arms under Len and pressed himself against smooth skin, firm muscles.

Jim hadn't fully unpacked his stuff yet and he wasn't sure what bag his supplies were in but he knew he'd have to extricate himself in order to find them. He didn't want to do that yet.

Len whispered in his ear and Jim shivered all the way down his spine.

He deepened their kiss, clacking their teeth gently together as he delved in with his tongue. He pulled back with a rushed, "Sorry," but Len shook his head and pulled Jim straight back in.

"I'm not breakable, kid," Len assured him but Jim pushed up from him again, reluctantly.

"I have to find lube," he said apologetically.

"Yeah," Len agreed. "Well, get to it," he added with a smirk.

"Yes sir," Jim breathed, and jumped off the bed, grabbing the most likely bag and rifling through the contents with no thought to neatness or appearances in front of Len. Finally he came across what he was looking for shoved into an inside pocket and he drew them out with a pleased "Whoop!"

Len was watching him, stretched out on the white sheets, head propped on an elbow as he waited. Jim let his eyes roam all the way over that naked expanse and let his pulse keep racing - his cock hardened impossibly as he watched Len's hand idly stroking over his erection, and Jim's free hand smoothed down his stomach on its way to doing the same.

"Are you coming back here?" Len asked huskily.

"Fuck," Jim whispered and he took the steps back to the bed, kneeling on the end and placing both hands at Len's hips as he crawled back on.

"What d'you need me to do Jim?" Len asked softly.

"I thought you were a doctor." Len raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Why don't I show you so next time you'll know what to do?" Jim suggested cheekily, and he was already squeezing lube onto two fingers without having taken his eyes from Len's.

Len reached up to take hold of Jim's hip as Jim sat back on his heels, watched as Jim eased his slippery fingers between his ass cheeks, making himself gasp at the coolness and causing Len to grip harder with his fingers, his breathing getting louder as he continued to stroke himself.

Jim hung his head, eyes closing for a moment as he circled his hole, taking his breath as he breached himself with one finger. He let his free hand land on Len's chest, pressing him back into the mattress and opening his eyes to meet Len's.

"Jim, fuck me, you are beautiful."

Jim smiled wide as he eased a second finger in but he couldn't speak, his breaths were too harsh - he looked down so he could watch Len jerking himself and started to imagine what it would be like when Len fucked him. He spread his fingers, feeling the light burning sensation as he prepped himself and let out a gasp.

Len gripped both his arms suddenly and pulled himself upwards to bring Jim into a kiss. It was lacking in co-ordination and messy and Jim couldn't be more turned on than he already was, his heart was pounding almost painfully. Len drew back and reached across the bed for one of the condoms Jim had put there.

"Yeah," he said encouragingly, as Len tore into it and began sliding it over his thick cock. "Yeah."

"Tell me when you're ready," Len whispered.

"I've been ready for ages," Jim told him smiling dazedly as Len narrowed his eyes.

"How d'you wanna do this?" Len asked, and Jim, through the haze of desire, could sense that Len was actually a little nervous.

"You want me to ride you?" Jim whispered back, stroking over his chest.

Len released a breath and nodded once.

Jim pushed up on his knees, spreading his thighs, and eased his fingers free, felt behind him with the same hand and took a firm grasp of Len's cock. He gave a couple of long, slow strokes and watched Len's head go back against the pillow. He whispered, "More lube," and reached for the tube, squeezing a good amount onto his palm as Len watched, his chest heaving.

"I feel like a damn virgin," Len muttered, and Jim just smiled.

"Relax," he told him.

"'Relax,' he says," Len said shakily. "That's easy for you to say-" his head went back again and he let out a low groan as Jim sank down on his cock.

He palmed Len's chest again and looked down into his eyes, trying to catch his breath as he watched Len's reaction.

"Goddammit kid," Len breathed out harshly.

Jim smiled and took a guess, "Feels good, doesn't it?" he murmured, and he lifted himself a little, easing himself up Len's shaft, pressing into his chest again and sighing out as he pushed back down. Slowly, so slowly and it was so fucking good to feel this man beneath him and inside him.

Len brought one hand to Jim's cock, bobbing between them, and Jim closed his eyes, letting the pleasure overwhelm him as Len took hold of him with a firm hand.

"Fuck," he drew out as Len's hips began a gentle upwards thrusting and he murmured, "Yes, like that," as he raised up and pushed down to match Len's movements.

"Jim, I'm not gonna last," Len told him and Jim smiled again, meeting his eyes and leaning in for a kiss. The change of angle was just what he needed and he squeezed his muscles around Len's cock as he increased the speed, licking into Len's mouth as he did so, trying to maintain the rhythm, crying out when Len's hips began thrusting faster, hitting his prostate every time.

"Len, oh fuck-" he cried, letting up on their kiss so Len could concentrate on his hand, Jim could concentrate on his ass, on his impending orgasm which he couldn't hold off for much longer.

Len had a firm grip on his hip and pushed him down to grind their bodies together with every upwards motion he made. "You sure you haven't done this recently?" Jim panted before he could stop himself - the man was a natural.

"Only in my dreams, Jim," Len told him. He groaned and released Jim's cock, clutching hard at his hips with both hands now, face scrunched up as he pounded Jim's ass from below, movements erratic as he cried out, and Jim held on, barely able to breathe as Len came.

As soon as Len's movements slowed, Jim eased off, taking care with the condom, edging shakily up the bed a little. He put one hand on Len's dampened chest, kissed him longingly and wrapped his hand around his own cock while their eyes locked together - it took barely three strokes before he was coming, Len's hands squeezing into his ass cheeks as he watched, as Jim covered his hand and his chest in cum.

Jim collapsed down on to Len as the tension he hadn't realised he'd been carrying left him with his orgasm. "Oh God, I feel like I'm made of Jello..." he muttered into Len's neck. He could feel Len chuckle below him and he attempted to push up a bit and look into his face again. He partially managed it and Len helped with his hands on Jim's shoulders, propping him up just long enough to kiss him before he let him down again and wrapped him up in his arms.

Jim just concentrated on breathing, quickly synchronising with Len's breaths as they calmed together.

"Jim," Len whispered after several moments.

"Yeah," Jim whispered back, still unmoving.

"That was the best thing I've ever experienced."

Jim's face broke into a wide, sleepy grin. "Yeah?" he murmured, clearing his throat so he could get out a proper sound.

Len's fingers brushed gently over Jim's shoulders and back before holding him tight again. "Yes."

Jim shifted a bit so his head was on Len's shoulder. "Me too," he murmured as he let his eyes fall closed.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had such a nightmare posting this chapter!! I was doing a lot of Nano writing, then kept falling asleep, then my laptop didn’t have a good day. Finally it’s here :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, just to add that John in the film is just a sweetie, not like this John, who’s a bit not good. But nothing bad bad is going to happen, it’s not that kind of fic :) Thanks everyone xx

Len awoke to a text alert. His eyes flew open, his heart was frantic as he tried to determine where he was in the still dark room. A look to his left had his breath catching as he saw Jim's sleeping form beside him. "Oh, Jim," he murmured, and he reached out to touch, barely to graze a naked shoulder, memories of their night together flooding through in a rush. Jim, _Jim_ in his arms, all over him... he couldn't remember anything to compare with this.

Jim coughed suddenly and rubbed at his face, murmuring something, shifting around as Len watched. His eyes opened sleepily and he looked across the pillows into Len's eyes.

_Damn, he's beautiful._ "Mornin' Darlin'," Len murmured. 

"Hey," Jim drew out, and his expression was enough to make Len's heart pound almost painfully. Jim stroked his fingers over Len's cheek and Len covered his hand with his own. "I haven't woken up smiling since I can remember," Jim said, his voice still groggy with sleep and Len loved it.

He slid his hand over Jim's waist and nuzzled into his neck. "That makes me happy to hear."

"Len?"

"Mmm?"

"How did we get from giving each other the eye in an elevator to you boning me and calling me Darlin'?"

Through Len's laughter he finally got out, "You enjoyed that, huh?"

"What, you boning me?" Jim stretched out like a starfish across the bed. "Fuck yeah," he breathed. When he came out of the stretch he turned back towards Len and pulled him into his arms. "Say it again?"

Len raised an eyebrow, smirking, and ran his palm from Jim's chest downwards, over the toned expanse of pale skin. He kissed near to his ear before whispering, "Darlin'."

Jim shivered.

"Oh, yeah," he murmured, while Len kissed his neck, squeezed at his hips and Jim writhed beside him like he had when Len was inside him. The thought made Len's groin tighten, which in turn reminded him he had to pee. He gave Jim a final kiss and whispered, "I'll be right back," scooted reluctantly away and headed to the bathroom.

With Len's back turned he heard Jim pad in behind him and he slid his arms around Len's chest.

"You wanna wait your turn?" Len said as Jim watched over his shoulder.

"I like to cuddle, didn't wanna miss any of this," Jim said, gesturing up and down Len's body in front of him.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to wash my hands before I reciprocate," Len told him. Dammit, he was falling for this kid more and more by the minute. But that was a good thing. He turned in Jim's arms and to hell with his hands, he needed them to bring Jim into an embrace and he kissed Jim languidly before holding him tight.

"Well that's gross, now we're just gonna have to take a shower aren't we?" Jim said near to his ear.

"Jim, have you been using these showers? I can barely get clean in there myself, there's no way we'll both fit under the spray."

"The tub then?" Jim murmured and Len released him from their hug and nodded.

"That sounds good."

"Ok, well, give me some space here man, I need to pee," Jim muttered, not even bothering to hide the huge grin on his face as Len scowled at him.

 

The bathtub was at least a larger space than the shower for two tall men to squeeze into, but there wasn't much room to manoeuvre. Jim lay back against the far end and Len lay against his chest, his eyes had been closed for long moments while Jim massaged bubbles across his skin. He was picturing it - trying hard to picture them being able to carry this on when they got back home. Even though home was two separate places; even though home was a no-go area for him now; even though home may very well be packed up in black sacks and strewn around the back yard by now.

"Len," Jim whispered in his ear. Len opened his eyes, allowing those visuals to disappear with the bubbles popping away into the water around his body.

"Len," Jim said again and his arms and legs made a brief but welcome squeeze around Len's hips, around his chest. "You're doing that thing again," Jim murmured.

"What thing is that?" he asked softly. He never wanted to leave this place.

"Over-thinking."

"Sorry kid."

"Don't apologise." Jim kissed his temple, his cheek. Len leaned back against him, breathing him in and Jim kissed his neck. "If you want to talk, I'm a good listener."

"I thought I was over-thinking?"

"You are. That doesn't mean we can't talk it out."

"What have you got yourself into?" Len said, thinking aloud. He shook his head at himself and felt Jim's arms tighten again.

"Don't say that," he said softly. "Neither of us is perfect. But I think we're perfect for each other. Don't you?" he asked.

Len nodded quickly. "'Course I do, Jim," he said gruffly and he cautiously twisted in the water, knees spread on either side of Jim's, pressing their bodies together as he bent to kiss him. It would take some doing but Len was pretty sure they could manage something in this tub. He was about to suggest it when the room erupted with the almighty blaring of an alarm.

"Oh shit," Jim cried, pushing Len off him.

There was splashing, elbows poking soft body parts, laughing, almost slipping on the wet tiles, but they made it out into the main bedroom, dripping wet and naked. "Clothes?" Jim asked, hurriedly searching for anything they could throw on, but in their haste last night, nothing was where it should be.

"No time, Jim. Here," Len reached back into the bathroom and thrust one of the fluffy white hotel robes into Jim's arms. He grabbed the other for himself and pulled it on as he made for the door. At the last moment he thought to grab his boots and Jim was clutching his Converse as Len yanked the door open.

"Where do we go?" Jim asked, following close behind Len as other guests began exiting their rooms.

"Down," Len told him. He grabbed Jim's arm and made for the stairs.

"Man, I hope it's just a drill," Jim said as they hurried down forty flights.

Eventually they stood outside, freezing, huddled in their robes, feet stuck into unfastened shoes.

"I need a smoke," Jim admitted.

"Sorry kid, not a top priority."

"Right," Jim drawled. "Apparently, neither was our underwear. I'm freezing my ass off out here!"

Len just raised an eyebrow at him. He put an arm around Jim's shoulder and rubbed a bit. "I'm sorry Jim, for being such a grump earlier."

"You weren't a grump," Jim told him, and then he whispered a sharp, " _Crap_ ," and eased out from under Len's arm.

"What is it?" Len asked, frowning.

"Hold on a minute," Jim said, and he began to walk off across the crowded lot. Len took a step to follow and he could see John, staring at Jim, his face a mixture of rage and upset. Len went after him.

He caught up to Jim in time to see his ex thrusting a sheet of paper at him, and he couldn't avoid glancing to read the huge printed words, pulled from a fax machine no doubt, _I miss you_. Damn, this guy clearly didn't know what he had until it was gone. But Len had to be fair, he didn't know John at all, but if he felt for Jim even a ounce of what Len felt for him... then he must be a wreck right now. He stood a little way off, wanting to be there for Jim but not wishing to interfere, unless he had to.

Jim was placating him, Len could hear apologies where he didn't think any were needed.

"What the hell is this?" he heard John say, and he took Jim's arm, looked directly at Len and suddenly shouted out, "I see you there, I see what's going on!"

Len should hardly be surprised by this since he stood out amongst the crowds here anyway and right now he and Jim were sporting matching robes.

Jim was still trying to calm things, voice kept low, and before Len could step closer, try to assist and avoid a scene, John shoved Jim aside and lunged at Len, throwing a couple of punches while Jim tried to hold him off. Within seconds it was over, security coming from somewhere and restraining John, Jim with a hand to his face and Len having escaped any harm aside from a kick to the leg.

"Jim," Len said, taking hold of him and trying to get a look at his face.

"Damn, he can hit," Jim muttered.

"I'm so sorry Jim."

"'S not your fault," Jim told him, allowing Len to prise his fingers away from an already glowing bruise.

Jim put his arms around Len then and pulled him in, Len felt warmth spreading through him.

A few more minutes in the cold and the management gave the all clear. Jim hadn't let Len go and it seemed that any pretence at hiding their new found relationship was off, and Len was just fine with that.

"Now I really could use a smoke," Jim muttered as they walked back into the hotel.

"Let's get you some ice first, ok?" Len said.

They headed up to the bar, Len suggesting they could use something a little stronger than beer right now. Jim didn't argue and soon they were settled in, white robes and all, sitting opposite one another in the window table over looking the night time city. There was no sign of John, and most other guests seemed to have gone back to their rooms, but Jim and Len had spent so many sleepless nights in here, the bar was like a second home by this point.

Jim pressed a napkin filled with ice to his face and Len watched him across the little table.

"Let's never come here again," Jim said.

Len chuckled. He could take that one of two ways. He preferred to think that Jim meant this fairytale moment in time - albeit tempered with drama - was going to be a once in a lifetime thing for them. The start of something they could build on together.

"I have to leave tomorrow. I don't want to go. Not without you."

"So stay here - we could open a sushi restaurant," Jim said.

Len pressed his lips together. "That's one thing I'm looking forward to back home, the lack of raw fish."

"I don't want you to go either," Jim told him seriously. "But I'll be home in a couple days, I'll call as soon as I land. Give you time to get your life sorted out back there."

"Jim, don't remind me," Len sighed.

"Just being realistic. It's got to happen."

"Yeah," Len took another sip of his drink. "And what about you, huh? I have to leave you here with him throwing his fists around?"

Jim shook his head. "He's never been like that with me before."

"That doesn't mean he won't hurt you again Jim, look at this," he touched the bruise on Jim's cheekbone. "Get that back on there," he told him, picking up the ice again.

"Len, it's ok, I'll be ok."

"You call security, if anything happens. Ok?"

"Ok."

Len sighed. "I'm sorry I got you into this."

"Hey, I'm not sorry about any of this," Jim said, squeezing Len's hand across the table. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm tired," he murmured.

"You wanna get back to your room?"

"Only if you're there," Jim told him.

Len picked up his drink and gulped down the remaining whiskey and Jim was standing before he could put his glass down.

He held out his hand and Len took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Jim kept his hand and smiled. "Let's go to bed."

Len nodded, feeling only slightly foolish that they were both dressed as they were. Jim led them out of the bar to the elevator and they waited for the doors to open. Jim's head lolled onto Len's shoulder as he huffed out a dramatic sigh.

"Should we take the stairs?" Len asked.

"No, I'm too tired," Jim said. He did seem genuinely exhausted now and Len was feeling it too. What with their energy-sapping fun from earlier, late night bath, coupled with the fire drill and then John... perhaps they would both be able to sleep the next few hours. Len's flight wasn't until the evening. Plenty of hours left before he had to leave. His heart tugged again at the thought.

They made it back to Jim's room and somehow both had a renewed surge of energy, losing their robes within a second of the door closing. Sleep would come later.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's here! I'm so sorry for the end of this chapter. But it's not quite over yet. The next part is ready to go... let me know when you're ready for it ;)
> 
> I managed to get in a final line from the film in this part:   
> "Ok, well, goodbye, and enjoy my jacket, which you stole from me."

They slept for hours, longer than either had previously managed when they'd been trying to sleep alone, or rather apart. When Jim finally woke it was daylight, the blinds were open and the sun was streaming in - a welcome sight after so many rain showers.

He rolled over, deliberately on top of Len's still sleeping body.

"What time's your flight," he whispered.

Len groaned and shoved half-heartedly at Jim but he soon gave up and embraced him instead. "Dunno," Len murmured with his eyes still closed.

Jim kissed his eyelids, his cheekbone, his lips. Len reacted then and they kissed sleepily, Jim still pressing Len into the mattress.

"What time is it?" Len finally asked, managing to dislodge Jim from his chest. Jim let him do it and sat up beside him, checking the bedside clock. "Seven-thirty."

"Damnit," Len grumbled rubbing at his face. He had at least a two day stubble and Jim couldn't avoid wanting to lick him all over and have Len rub stubble-burn onto his skin. Maybe they would have time for that later, Jim sorely hoped so. "Flight's at nine, they're having the car take me to the airport for seven."

Jim's chest ached at the thought of him leaving. But just another day alone here and he would be on the same path home. "What are your plans for today?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to expect the man to want to spend his final day with him, but Len was frowning at him.  


"Jim, we took most of this week to get here, I don't wanna spend these last few hours anywhere but at your side. Unless you have other ideas," he added.

Jim tackled him again and assured him in between kisses that he didn't intend to move from this place until someone came to prise Len from his arms.

Despite the sleep, neither of them had much energy and so after a room service call and a breakfast of pancakes and bacon, they made a token effort to get dressed and ended up lying back on Jim's bed, talking about their lives back home.

"First thing is to get a job," Jim said. "I don't even care what it is for now, just as long as I have some money in my pocket, then I can think about what comes next. And I need to find my own place."

"Same here, I was having a look last night at rentals nearby to the house and the office, but then I thought about how far away you would be and I thought maybe I could travel."

Jim sighed. He'd almost forgotten about Len's work commitments. He didn't want to be the one to affect Len's career, or his relationship with his daughter. "Where from?" he asked.

Len pulled out his phone and opened up Googlemaps, tapping in his home town and scaling out so they could see Iowa on the screen as well - it was a struggle. "How about here?" he said pointing to a spot seemingly mid-way between the states.

"You'd move so far?" Jim asked.

"For you, yes. Would you?" Len asked tentatively.

Jim nodded, studying the map. "There's not much to keep me in Riverside anymore, hell, even in Iowa."

"Would your folks visit, if you moved away?"

"Aw, I dunno man, maybe? I'd go home to see them though, it wouldn't be a problem. I wouldn't want you to be homesick from your daughter."

"What about friends Jim, is there no one you'd miss?"

"Honestly? No, those friends I did make at college, most were from elsewhere, not back home. Why would I bother trying to settle back there when I want to be with you?"

Len smiled at that. "You wanna be with me?" he asked.

They had a lot to work out and Jim couldn't see it being easy, but there was one thing he was certain of. "I thought I'd made that clear - Doctor McCoy," Jim drew out, climbing into Len's lap and kissing him.

 

Len spent the day alternately feeling grateful for the time he and Jim had had here, staving off the sadness that he was leaving, and resisting the urge to clock watch in case he missed his car to the airport. It wouldn't do to have Ms Kawasaki having to come to find him.

Jim insisted on helping him to pack, since, as he said, he'd been a distraction and Len wasn't even half ready to leave. When he came across Len's stash of medication in the bathroom, he began to show concern.

"Len, I'm not sure about you having to take all of this stuff just to get back home," he said, eyeing the various packages as Len put them into his baggage.

"There's no other way, kid."

Jim hummed at him. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry you have to go through all that."

"Your feelings," Len said, stepping close and taking Jim's hand in his, "are worth everything to me. But you don't need to worry."

 

When they were finally done and staying in the room just reminded them that this was all coming to an end, they went to the pool. They swam, they lounged with cocktails, they ate a late lunch in the bar for the last time. They talked about Tokyo, about Len's work and how he felt about getting back into television work if this whole 'image improving' campaign went to plan. Jim was excited for him, even if it meant an eventual return to New York for Len. If Jim could go with him that would be all that mattered.

They made their way slowly back to Len's room to collect his bags when they couldn't put it off any longer. Jim's stomach was twisting unpleasantly and he was desperate to keep his emotions in check, for Len's sake. Len pulled him into his arms as soon as the door closed. Jim sank into the hug and they stood together for long moments.

"I have to go," Len murmured.

"I know."

"I'll miss you, Jim."

Jim couldn't speak. He could only nod into Len's neck.

Len held onto him until his phone vibrated and they slowly separated.

 

It was an excuse, Len could admit that - if he could just hear Jim's voice once more before he had to go it might get him through another couple of hours. If he was lucky. But he had also left his jacket in Jim's room and it was raining again. He actually did need it back. But Jim wasn't answering. Len tried him again with no response. His team were edging closer, Ms Kawasaki eager to give him a final set of gifts by the looks of it.

The call went over to Jim's voicemail and Len reluctantly left a message for the man he was leaving behind. It wasn't in his nature to be consistently sweet, definitely not over-emotional, so he grumbled about how cold he was, said it would be great if Jim could find the energy to bring his jacket down to him as he had to leave now. He looked around sadly, hoping for the kid to appear in the lobby. "Ok, well, goodbye, and enjoy my jacket, which you stole from me," Len finished, and no sooner had he put his phone back in his pocket, really not considering whether his call would have come across as humorous or not, he heard Jim's voice from behind him.

"Hey," Jim said, voice low and mischievous despite the melancholy Len could see in his eyes when he spun around. "You forgot this," Jim said, holding up Len's jacket.

"Thanks, Jim, I was just calling you." He took the jacket and he was smiling without even trying. Everything about being with Jim was effortless. Everything except this. "I have to go," he murmured. Damn this. They had said their goodbyes already and it had been hard enough in his room. Now, he couldn't even reach out to touch, he didn't think he could, could he?

Jim was suddenly wrapped around him, answering Len's silent worrying with an engulfing hug. Len clung to him in return for as long as he could, until he heard a polite cough from behind them and they withdrew from each other. Jim was smiling but Len could only give a half smile, managing a wink as Jim stepped back, giving him space to leave.

"I'll see you, Jim," he said.

"Yeah," Jim said with a nod, and he was already turning away, brushing at his eyes so swiftly Len wasn't even sure he had seen correctly. Len's team gathered around him in a moment and Len could easily see over their heads and catch Jim's eye once more - Jim gave a wave of his hand and set off out of the hotel.  


Len sighed, it was over. _For now_ , he had to remind himself. He would see Jim again.

 


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because it's Christmas Eve. Because I'm writing a mini-fic which happens in Jim and Len's short-term future and it will follow this story. Because the end of Lost In Translation makes me cry every time and that's not what I wanted for Len and Jim. They belong together.

"Jim!" Jim turned around at the sound of his name, frowning in confusion. It didn't sound like John and yet there was no one else in the hotel who knew him by name. Apart from Len.

Len who was shoving through the suddenly crowded bar, his hair a mess, face looking tired and worried. Jim stood up, heart thumping frantically as he waited - Len was meant to be on a flight by now.

Len finally reached him and he was out of breath as he spoke. "I was thinking, what's the point of me leaving now, when I could fly home with someone who'd hold my hand?"

Jim raised both eyebrows and laughed outright in relieved amusement. "Who's the lucky guy?" he said, making Len do all the work at this point.

Len looked at him for a moment and shook his head, not able to get to any words by the look of it. Jim took pity on him after a moment and murmured, "You mean like this?" and he took hold of Len's hand.

Len let out a sigh. "Oh God, Jim, yes. Please?" he said in a rush.

Jim smiled widely and nodded.

Len didn't hesitate again, Jim was pulled into his arms right there in the bar, people all around them, those who would maybe recognise Len from his posters around the city. He pulled Jim in and kissed him. Their lips met in an immediately intense and bruising fashion, Jim wasn't even able to take a breath before Len had engulfed him, and he drew in a short breath through his nose as the kiss deepened.

"Jim," Len gasped as he pulled away, hands grasping hold of Jim's arms.

Jim licked his kiss-swollen lips. "Yeah," he said. "I'll fly home with you, Bones."

Len closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Jim's. "Thank God. I couldn't do it Jim, couldn't leave without you."

"It's ok, it's ok," Jim assured him, relief pouring over him. Walking away from Len had been harder than he'd ever thought possible, and wherever this late change of plan had come from, Jim was fine with it, more than fine - "Len, it's ok," he repeated. "Goddamn am I glad you came back for me."

"Had to," Len mumbled into his shoulder. "Had to, Jim, couldn't leave you." After another moment he added, "I thought we'd agreed you'd never call me that again."

Jim laughed and held him tighter. "You're stuck with it now, Bones, stuck with me."

 


End file.
